“The life of the eternal subjectivity is an infinite reference to its subjectivity contemplated within another “I” so as to be truly love… In any other circumstances, eternity would be either an unbearable boredom… or else an absurdity.”
St. Dimitru Staniloae
The Experience of God
Let’s break that down, shall we? What the hell does that gobbledygook mean?
Simply: true joy and peace is to experience yourself in the context of someone else. Anyone who has ever stared into the eyes of a beloved knows exactly this feeling; parents experience this in the eyes of their children. Without this experience of self being experienced by another self we wither and die inside. “It is not good for man to be alone” is said after Adam names all the animals; it is not until man realized nothing else in the world will do that God gives man that most ferocious of creatures, woman.
It is essential to understand one of the primary truths of Christianity: all are subjects, all is community with the goal of “union in perfect love”, as Staniloea also says. That first statement is a bit difficult to parse, and the second statement is even harder to understand without the first. So first off we'll need to break down what the hell I mean by that and then break down what that means for game design, particularly TTRPGs, coz that's what I know.
So, what do I mean by "all are subjects"? I mean that historical Christianity, Catholic and Orthodox alike, regard all of creation as alive and sentient. It's not like us and our version of it, but the universe is alive. God loves it and cares for it, even if we're supposed to care for it. The Golden Legend, has this to say about how active and aware the universe really is:
"The third accuser will be the whole world. Hear Gregory: "If you ask who will accuse you, I say, 'The whole world. When the Creator is offended the entire creatoin is offended.'" Chrysostom comments on Matthew: "There will be nothing we can say in response on that day when heaven and earth, the waters, the sun and the moon, night and day and the whole world will oppose us before God, testifying to our sins; and if all were silent, our very thoughts and especially our works will against us before God, forcefully accusing us."
The phrase "The blood of thy brother has found a voice that cries out to me from the ground" isn't meant to be figurative, it's literal. The Biblical world is not silent, not at all. We're just deaf and stupid in our fallenness.
More than that, however, is there is a point to creation. The Orthodox theologian Staniloae states that creation, including time and space, were given to us, so that we could carry on a conversatoin with God. God, in His mercy, knew that we would not be able to talk to Him as creatures. God is so far removed from us by just the definition of what He is and what we are not that we wouldn't be able to focus on Him to be able to talk, not directly. The world exists specifically so we can have something to attach our minds to, so that God may babble with us about these little created things that we have cooperated with Him to refine and put the way we like them, together. And if we screw this up the world, which must be multiple myriads of consciousnesses because God is a community of persons. Even celibates, those monks who sit around and don't seem to do much, are with us, becaus they've discovered that God is as much a medium for transmission as He is person; by being in union with God directly, they are in union with all, in their own way.
So all of life is communion, even if you don't understand how all the things that can see and hear you do.
If you're wondering where I'm going with this: game design's central point should be to help you relate better. By designing artificial environments that are different from your usual you give each other a place to do the most worthwhile action of all: investing yourself into something beyond yourself, to BELIEVE again.
It is here I draw my first line in the sand: a good game helps you trust yourself to others more, possibly helping you restore yourself, possibly healing emotional and spiritual wounds in the process. Games reward investment of self (which us Christians call kenosis) by creating a framework of rules that reward certain actions while punishing others. You are expected to let go of your notion of what is real and consequential and engage with this new construct, this new environment. By doing so you imbue it with meaning, replicating the human action: to give meaning to the universe. Really good game design will bleed your experiences back over to the real world. And it should. It’s why the USA loves sports so much!
Good game design has a few factors: it encourages and requires particular actions while punishing others, while providing a sense of progression towards a goal, with usually some form of going out of yourself as the endpoint (also known as ecstasy). No, this isn’t exhaustive, no I do not have all the answers, I’m just an obnoxious loudmouth with the determination to write his silly thoughts down (mostly on a phone) in the ridiculous expectation that others may get something out of what I’m saying. No, I won't elaborate on those here. Honestly I need to think on them more.
Now, it should be obvious why general disinterest is a bad thing for a game. You get bored, you withdraw, because your attempt to invest is actively thwarted.
I’m breaking the next line into its own paragraph, because you need to actually read it.
YOU NOT LIKING A GAME IS NOT NECESSARILY THE SAME AS BAD DESIGN.
This is where it gets tricky and actually requires adult conversation and that really gray thing called discernment, wisdom. A good game can ask for a type of investment that you may not want to give. And I know all about that one! I’m designing tabletop role playing games! That aren’t Dungeons and Dragons! I’m in niches that are so pathetically small that subatomic particles are calling their exterminators because holy crap I thought we got rid of all the freaking subatomic roaches.
So not wanting to invest doesn’t make a game bad. It’s a game; by its very nature not liking or even loving a game isn’t a grave matter. But bad design does exist. It is a thing. Bad design can hurt you. Bad game design specifically uses your dopamine receptors against you while providing nothing in response. Instead of you playing the game, the game takes you over and plays you. You're not trying to interact with an object on its terms, you're just wasting time as your dopamine gets upped.
Or, y'know, in the case of Dungeons and Dragons or Magic you're just putting up with it because you genuinely don't know better stuff exists.
Please stop giving the supervillain money. Thank you.
Speaking of DnD, there’s another bad form of game design, one which people are more attached to, because its allure is so strong: having a ton of complexity that doesn’t really fit in with the game’s stated goals, or obfuscates the core loop of the game. This has the knock-on effect of making a second game that’s effectively divorced from the supposed real game. All modern DnD games fall into this trap, even my beloved 4e, where the option bloat invites one to tinker and tinker and tinker… to no actual difference. I’m not talking against games that have builds being a part of the loop; I may not like Pathfinder, but I’ll be the first to admit it doesn’t hide its core loop with its options. Even games with core loops I don’t like, like Marvel Champions and Arkham Horror the LCG, are games that use its “build” mechanics well. But building for its own sake, where the engine you’re supposed to be building for gets left behind, is bad design. If this is done well it’s an opportunity to give greater meaning to your experience. If it’s done poorly it’s modern Scholasticism.
Seriously, the difference between modern scholastics and build whores in games is nil.
The point is: bad design actually hijacks you against yourself, removing you from relating to others and plays your own brain against itself. A lot of mobile games are built this way, weaponizing your dopamine receptors against themselves. You can also design a game that can not support a player well enough in the design goals. This is a much harder one to identify, and is much more subject to taste than we'd all like to admit... but clunky designs do exist. I mean, c'mon folks, SpiderMan 3 the video game exists. We all know there's such a thing as designs that don't live up to their potential. These designs prevent you from giving subjectivity, and thus relationship, to the design. Without gifting meaning to the design you are stuck in a series of meaningless actions, isolated and stuck within your own subjectivity. It's doomscrolling on your phone, but with an object that was actually supposed to help you practice your primary function as a human being: giving meaning.
Yeah, we got a word for that: Hell.
I think that's what I got for the moment. Good game design is meant to be a function of you giving meaning to the world and those around you. Great design makes that central human function easy and enjoyable, sublime. Bad design frustrates this ability. Horrible design will make you forget it's your job to give meaning entirely, either because the base engine is bad or because the game distracts you from its core too much.
OKAY, SO THIS IS THE SHILL TIME. If you go away after this point that's fine! Really!
If you like what I've written and want to see it in action, go over to my Itch, and pick up my game Apex, which is a single-page game that packs a lot of punch to it. It's way better than any one-page RPG has any right to be and it's really easy to play.
If you like what I'm saying and want to see what I'm up, design-wise, I update my two games on my Discord on an-almost weekly basis. If you want to see the drafts, go on over to Discord and take a look!
Oh, what am I working on, in general? Glad you asked! I'm working on three games: Dragons and Planets, The Truth Found in Death and Crescendo.
Dragons and Planets is a one-shot space fantasy game for two to six people, in the tone and tradition of Star Wars, Pacific Rim, and the Matrix. Gameplay is fast, frenetic, and extremely collaborative, while being surprisingly relaxing. Oh, and it's diceless and uses your favorite book. From character and world creation to the end it takes about two hours.
The Truth Found in Death is a game for two to six people, emulating the blood-punting pulp of Robert E. Howard. Yes, that includes Kull. Game sessions feature an original D6 dice pool system, with lots of risk, reward, and blood. Each game sesssion takes between two to four hours, character creation included.
Crescendo is a long-form fantasy game of character development for two to four people. Innovative journaling with easy-but-deep storytelling mechanics, Crescendo is an intensely rewarding time for those who really want to sink their teeth into their characters and the setting.
You can find the most recent drafts for both games on the Discord.
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