What I'm Thankful For

I suppose by writing this post I am making a statement of some sort about what I think of Thanksgiving. There's been a lot of nonsense being tossed around about Thanksgiving being a day of genocide and the usual hand-wringing nonsense of how evil our country is.  

Sit down, you amateurs, I'm a monarchist, I think the whole system is bad.

But that's not going to stop me from realizing that there are days when you actually do need to focus on how grateful you are for your life, and that it needs to be a cultural event. I prefer the original point of Thanksgiving, that of Abraham Lincoln instituting it during the Civil War, one of our nation's lowest points. In darkness praise and thankfulness dawned. That's an amazing thing! And yeah, we should keep doing it! The Pilgrim thing can come or go, I don't really care, but given how toxic the modern discourse is does it really hurt to have a cultural day of thanksgiving and positivity?

If you answered "yes, it really does hurt" then kindly go jump off a cliff. Or at least stop reading. Just go away. Bye!

For the rest of you who aren't currently looking for a cliff to go jump off of, thanks for getting through that preamble! Let's get on with it!

First off, I'm thankful to God. I'm thankful that I continue to breathe, nevermind exist, and that He has given me exactly what I need, when I need it, even when I'm not aware that I do. I am grateful for all the things that He has given me that I like and, most especially, the things that I can barely stand.

I am thankful for the PTSD. It is helping me grow. I am becoming so much more than I ever would have without it.

I am thankful for being such a flawed and (sometimes) awful person, because it means I have to cut others slack, because slack has been cut for me.

I am thankful for being so bloody tired, because it means that my children are growing and changing and I get to be there and experience it with them, at every juncture.

Also first off, I am so grateful for that angel who continues to love me, also known as my wife.  Thank you for existing, because it would impossible for me to think of a world that is good without you being in it. Thank you for being so kind and considerate of others, because I wouldn't have learned to give a rat's ass without your continuing reminders that I should. Thank you for your support, in everything, because without it I'd have floundered in mediocrity and evil a long time ago. Thank you for not putting up with my (continuous) crap, but doing so in a gentle and loving manner. Thank you for being such a wonderful mother to our kids. The beauty that shines out of them is because of you, by and large. You have shown them how to be luminous boys, and I am so grateful that I get to come home and admire what you have done for them by just being in close proximity to them.

I am so thankful for my for my firstborn son. He continues to show me that it's OK to be emotional and intense and to not be apologetic for it. There are moments when that little guy smiles and I need to go get sunglasses, because so much light comes out. Thank you for loving Calvin and Hobbes and lightsabers and Spider-Man and Thomas and all these other things that I love, but with a simplicity and passion that have always disarmed me and my cynicism. Half the time I'm not sure who's teaching who how to be a good person. The rest of the time I know it's you teaching me. Thank you for putting up with my grumpy self and just plodding right through whatever grouchiness I have on a particular day, for trusting that there is someone good under all that flotsam and jetsam. Thank you for loving your mother so fiercely, and for protecting your little brother to the fullest extent of your ability. You are one of the strongest people I know, little guy. I'm proud of you.

I am thankful for my second son. You are the only dude I know who was born with Polish Grandmother genes, and it's an amazing sight. You always make sure we're all together, warm, and well-fed, and that's quite an inspiration. Thank you for your little temper, cause it's adorable! I mean, I doubt you see it that way, but I sure do. Thank you for being so tough and durable in loving your brother, because you're both so small yet and so much that you'd like to say to each other can't be, not yet. Thank you for your little entourage of stuffed animals, of which at least one (usually Pooh) must be present at all times. And definitely thank you for stuffing all your food in my mouth, even if it was in your mouth first. No, I'll never let that be forgotten.

I am thankful for the rest of my family. You've all been so supportive, honest, and vulnerable, and I cannot begin to say how blessed I am for it. Thank you for being willing to work through all the crap that normally destroys families, and for being a large part of why it didn't destroy us. Most people I know roll their eyes at least once when they mention their family. I'm not one of those folks, and I'm so grateful for that.

I am grateful for Andy, who should honestly be credited as editor of this blog. I probably should do that more often. You've read most of the crap that winds up on here, and given feedback that is invaluable. Thank you for being honest, even if it means crushing some ideas mid-sentence, and for keeping this grumpy hermit of the wider trends of gaming, even when I really don't want to know. You keep me honest and good on this blog, and in general.

Thank you to whoever reads this bloody blog. Y'all know who you are. Thanks for sticking around. I hope I keep going. Don't let me stop.

Thank you to Luke Crane and Jonathan Ying, who have made my favorite games. Games are important, and y'all's games are particularly important to me.

I could go on.

And on.

And on.

And on.

There is so much to be thankful for, so much so that one can honestly spend the rest of one's life doing it.

I should try it.

Join me?