How to GM: Up to Snuff

So you've decided you want to GM. CONGRATS TO A LIFE OF OBSESSION AND HORROR!... I mean... You're going to have a great time! A wonderful time! Yay!

Dr. Cox memes are the standard around here. Deal with it.

Yeah, puppy dogs and rainbows.

Uh huh.

No, seriously, GMing can be a pretty hard thing to do.

Don't get me wrong, it's worth it! But it's hard. And your job can be made much harder by refusing to develop soft skills (aka "People skills"). If you don't know how to "share" "your" game with "your" players, take criticism with a level head, and make the story about the PCs and the setting, then I don't think you'll get terribly far. I mean, you might go on and on as a GM, but that doesn't mean you're a very good one.

Alright, let's kick this off. Repeat after me:

IT'S NOT YOUR GAME.

Confused? OK, let's try it again. Maybe you'll get it this time:

IT'S NOT YOUR GAME.

The campaign is not your baby, it is everyone's. Everyone cares about it. If they didn't they wouldn't be playing! So get that out of your head, now. This is everyone's game. Make sure your players know it, particularly those who come from a background where the GM was made the sole curator of the campaign. Ask for input, frequently, ask for people to apply their ideas to the setting, to the themes, to the mechanics, everything. Yes, the GM gets final say in the game, as he should, just remember that the players have the final stay on whether or not they stay in the game! Listened to players are happy players.

And that ties into taking criticism well. Let's get this out of the way: YOU'RE GOING TO MESS UP. The more you do it the less mistakes you'll make, but that does not make you infallible. A few weeks ago one of my players, Ryan, told me that I had run his character over, making for a horrible time. He only told me because we were friends and he wanted to make sure that I knew he would go with it.

I was appalled.

I demanded to know what the exact problem was. We sat down, worked it out, and eventually we came to a good compromise. I wasn't a pushover, but at no point in time did I tell Kurlak that he was wrong for feeling what he felt. I told him what I was willing to compromise on, the hills that I would die on, regardless of his feelings about it, and we negotiated. And he was happy with it! I felt bad that he had to do it at all, but my ability to listen and respond allowed for the game to be better, because both of us were in on it. I didn't get my slaughter and dark ending, but who cares? A solution we come up with together is far better than anything I can come up with on my own. That's why I'm bloody playing a group game.

There are two trains of thought about designing campaigns: the wrong way (design stuff and players have to bend to it) and the wrong way (cater to the players in everything!!!). The truth is dead in the middle. The GM is a player, he gets to have his ideas in the game and he gets the satisfaction of playing these ideas out. And he should get to do so! And players should feel like they are the center of their own story. They went to the trouble of filling out those stupid sheets, so yeah, the game needs to be about them. But not at the cost of destroying GM investment. You are not a slave. Nor are you a god. You are a player, Mr. GM. So bring your ideas for the setting and story to the table, and adapt them to the player's choices! Don't be afraid to ask a player "I really don't want to kill undead, can we stick with dragon stuff instead?", but be ready to incorporate their stuff in return "OK, looks like we're doing a lot of dracoliches and all the dragons have an undead fetish". And guess what? Incorporating their stuff will make your story that much better! Why do dragons love to use undead as minions? What happened? And that answer is going to be interesting.

I personally think most of GMing can be summed up by the line "Don't be a dick". And I usually think that works out. But it doesn't hurt to elucidate a bit, from time to time. Rules mastery is nice, but any game can be learned if you pound your head against the book long enough, as I've pointed out repeatedly about Burning Wheel. What makes you a good GM is not your rules mastery, but your humility, ability to listen, and willingness to incorporate your player's ideas into the game. Yes, the buck stops with you. But that doesn't mean you can't ask for help in lifting that stupid ten point deer.