Welcome back! Today, we talk about turning the Crescendo discord server into a clubhouse.
It is always a question of what your goal is. Always. When I first started designing Crescendo the goal was raw: never leave that feeling I had at the end of Book of the Short Sun, and the rest of the Solar Cycle. I labored with that goal in mind. I have accomplished my goal, admirably even. But the problem shifted even as it was solved, and now I find myself at another crossroads: now that I have this game, what do I do with it?
That's a flawed question, as we'll see in a minute. Put a pin in it.
The biggest things that I got out of my time working on Crescendo have been threefold:
1. Gaming allows a form of vulnerability with people I find necessary.
2. As long as I stick with people, the project expands.
3. As the project expands, people will come on board who will want to do "more" with it, and may actually want to take point.
I do not think most people are naturally comfortable with being vulnerable with each other. I also think that people need to be vulnerable with each other. It is vital. It is not negotiable. Our culture is so bad with it, and the rift between what's expected of human beings and what's needed is now so wide that it's a wonder there aren't more suicides. Crescendo's helped with that problem, in a way that's a lot of fun, and I couldn't be prouder of what it's accomplished.
The more important point, however, has been that I simply do not have any ambition... because I like just playing with people. I like designing games and playing them with people. I don't particularly care for the business end of it. And I have found that, as long as I am playing with people and enjoying the time with them, things grow. And that's a nice byproduct of the one thing I really care about... playing the game.
The thing is, the other day one of the players just out and out suggested a mechanic that absolutely improves Crescendo. I never would have thought of it, but the idea was utterly correct. So, it's going into the 0e draft, which I'm currently working on. We'er going to playtest it, and make sure it works the way we thought it would. Now, if he can just show up and come up with an idea that I frankly could never have come up with, on my own, then someone better suited to this whole business bullshit may. I don't care, I just want to play the game with people.
And that, I think, is the real answer to the question I pinned earlier. I set out to chase a feeling I got from Gene Wolfe. I caught it. The game exists now, and it does what I wanted it to do. But the goal was never really to "have" the game. The goal was to feel that thing again, and then to share it.
Turns out the best way to keep feeling it is to keep playing with people who make it better than I ever could alone. So maybe the next question isn't "what do I do with Crescendo?"
Maybe it's simpler: keep showing up. Keep the table open. Keep making space for the next person who walks in with an idea I never would have had, or the next quiet player who finally feels safe enough to speak up.
The game will keep growing, or it won't. People will run with it, or they won't. Business stuff will happen, or it won't.
None of that is the point anymore.
The point is the table. The point is the moment when someone laughs, or cries, or leans in and says, "Wait… what if we did it like this?"
As long as that keeps happening, I’m exactly where I want to be.
Crescendo isn’t something I need to "do" anything with.
It’s something we get to keep doing. Together.
And that feels like a pretty good place to be.
No comments:
Post a Comment