A Post-Modern Catechism: Original Sin

The Catholic Catechism's explanation of Original Sin sucks, and the Orthodox "wE'Re NOt LiKE theM" Ancestral Sin doesn't really do the problem justice either. No one seems to understand that post-modernity is its own language, one which lives in irony (a trait no sincere Christian can have too much of), nihilism (the real philosophical roots of Christianity, @ me, go ahead), and suspicion of everything (a Christian trait if there ever was one).

Post-moderns live and die off of personal experience. They are rightfully suspicious of all else. So do the Desert Fathers, and therefore Catholic and Orthodox Christians. There's a lot of similarity to mine here. Contrary to the desiccated Christianity that we see nowadays, historical Christianity is entirely based off of personal experience, with the common experiences of others taken into account as well.

Doctrine is common experience codified. Let that sink in a moment.

So here's Original Sin, in Post-Modern terms.

You ever get the feeling you're just fucked? Let's get grave for a moment. Put aside the irony. I know it's a good emotional shield, I use it all the time! But, for one second, drop the shield. It'll be okay.

You ever lie awake at night, look up at the ceiling, and just realize you are stuck, personally? That you keep making the same mistakes, over and over, that no matter how hard you try you never quite stick the landing, that you're somehow always lonely, no matter how things are going, and you just wish this gnawing anxiety that things aren't as they should be would just shut up and go away?

Congratulations. That feeling is called the Original Sin. Something is WRONG. And no one can fix it.

Notice I didn't blame you for this feeling. We all have it. Yes, all of us. It's okay, it's not just you. Every single person throughout all history has experienced this reality. And our history has been a product of trying to fix it. You're not wrong.  We all feel it. The universe is fucked, and we're all a part of this tragedy. No one really gets it right. We all fail. All of us. There's no need to be ironic about it. All of us, no matter what we try and do, are fucked. Somehow.

Even the saints. Especially them. They decided to fail in fucking style. Some of them died shining like the sun itself and still bemoaned that they hadn't escaped the cycle of failure.

Another way to understand the Christian doctrine of Original Sin (NOT depravity, that's for another time) is to turn on the news and ask the damning question "Are those assholes really any different from me?"

I assure you the bad dudes you see have people who love them.

I assure you they have anxieties and cares, just like you.

I definitely assure you they think they're the good guys, and that your real instruments for determining if you're a good guy (dopamine and groupthink) are theirs too. 

That process? Its end result? That's Original Sin. No, it's not your fault.

"But I'm one of the good guys! I am on the right side of history! I'll be vindicated!"

Will you? Do you really think so? Because if you were really, would you be looking up at the ceiling at night and wondering why it all goes to shit?

You think the good guys actually do that?

Notice I didn't say there were any good guys. That's not an irony, that's just a fact. Because everyone, everyone(!) is fucked. You can either accept that, and possibly get somewhere, or not, and stay fucked.

So when you hear a Catholic bitch about "OrignAL SIn" or an Orthodox bemoan "AnCEStral SiN" that's what they mean. It's one of the most obvious experiences we all have. And pretending you don't have it isn't just stupid, but it's (from what I can tell) the root of a lot of mental illness. I know that while I was doing really intensive therapy the one thing that kept tripping me up was the word "should". "I should be able to control my mind against these flashbacks! I should be able to think clearly! I should be able not feel like a six year old trapped in a thirty year old's body!" But none of that's right. Because of course I can't control whether I get flashbacks or not. I can't control whether or not I feel like a six year old in thirty-four year old body. I can't control any of that. Neither can I control that I am thirty-four now and that I will someday die, whether I like it or not. 

All I can do is accept what I am, body and soul and spirit, and bring it before the Almighty. Because He does heal you. No, I'm not fucking with you. It does happen. I've seen it. I've felt it. It's real. It's not pleasant, but the world isn't a pleasant place and the moment you admit that core fact to yourself it gets a hell of a lot easier.

But first you have to accept that you are never going to cut the mustard. It was never the point.