You Have the Time

"I want to live"

In the anime Castlevania the summoner Isaac tells Hector, one of his friends, that he had finally realized something : he had a future. And because he had a future, because he had time, he was going to make use of it. And that the powers that be, the people who control culture and everything else in our system, specifically did not want people to know it. If all you have is the present, with no future, there is no hope. And therefore you are easy to control. But Isaac had a future. And therefore he hoped. And therefore he could no longer be controlled. It's one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned.

You have the time.

Yeah yeah yeah, live every day. Don't sink into a malaise or be paralyzed with fear and all that, but you, the person reading this, have time. No, I don't know how much, but probably enough to finish this blog post.

Hopefully.

The only thing that matters is what you do with the time you have, with what's in front of you, right now. Answers to your questions are nice, but they do not change the fact that all you have is what's in front of you, right now. It is perfectly reasonable to have hope for a future.

Yes, you have concerns. Problems. Issues with the world that feel very pressing. I'm not trying to downplay the importance of those questions, because they have a funny way of defining your life. But you have time for those. 

The blessing of youth is the feeling that you only have so much time, along with the feeling of boundless energy. The curse of youth is thinking that if today doesn't resolve everything then all is lost, and that your energy is useless. That's not true. Full stop.

Your questions will not be resolved today, probably. That's okay. We have such an emphasis on being rational beings that we think it means we know everything. Well here's a rational thought then: The rational thing to do when you don't have enough information is to investigate and be willing to put in the time.

Yes, I'm telling you to be patient, if there's no reason to have the information now then don't break yourself to go get it. Because you have the time.

Because outside that Hell of "I don't know the answer fuck my life I don't know" there's a whole world. It's right next to you. And you can do something about that. I know that doesn't solve the Big Problems. I didn't say it did. But you're not a Big Person. If you were they wouldn't be Big Problems, would they?

There are small problems. Just the right size. And if you conquer those small problems, you will be larger. It's a promise. Each time you focus on one of those smaller problems the next problem will be smaller. And smaller. And smaller.

And one day you will be what you once thought of as a Big Person, and thus able to deal with what you used to think of as The Big Problem. It won't be a Big Problem anymore. Because you'll be bigger than it.

But that's not today. And it doesn't need to be today, not by and large.

You have a future. 

And it's worth living. No matter how much pain and anguish await you, no matter how big and large and freaking scary the whole enterprise looks, it will be worth doing. Because someday it'll be in your rear view mirror, and you'll chuckle a little bit, as you realized that used to really get you tripped up. The journey will be worth it. 

I promise.

Blessed are the patient. They will inherit the land.

-Matthew 5:4