No, not like this.
Please.
I'm begging myself: Nathan, don't come back like this.
But the truth is the truth, regardless of my ability to stomach it. Freaking Flannery O'Connor.
Let's get something out of the way: I hate the character of Rocky. I just do. If you like him that's cool.... but I just can't stand any frame the character is in. He's just so freaking nondescript to me. Yeah yeah yeah, that's probably not fair, but my return to May the Power Protect You is because of Rocky and I get to be grumpy about it.
So. Freaking. There.
My sister Anna had come over for Thanksgiving. She's been going through a bit of a gaming renaissance herself, having her own portable gaming collection, with plans to expand. She and I have enjoyed more than a few games of Marvel Champions together, as well. It's been nice to connect over that with her. So I decided to show her Heroes of the Grid and basically guilt-tripped her into it. It'd been a few months since I'd been able to really play, and at this point I was truly desperate to even get one game in. Anna agreed, probably out of pity.
I presented Anna with the various "types" of characters, and Anna said she wanted MMPR Zack and.... Zeo Blue?? I tried to change her mind. Rocky was not going to be a simple character to learn, given he was outside of core and she herself said she wanted someone simpler. But Anna saw the mechanics and theme and went "No no! I like this 'Let's Party' card! I like this whole jumping around having a bash! I'm doing this!"
I keep forgetting that I am the dour one of my family. And, if you couldn't tell, I am not the type to get into a "Let's parTAY" mood. I like my long slogs of matching wills against another person or the game engine. I am the thing that just keeps moving forward.
That. Is. Not. My sister. Either of them, come to think of it. Sunshine and rainbows illuminating copious amounts of blood, with giggles of eldritch horror, that's their style. Cthulhu Pony. It's party time with your guts is the order of the day! Their giggles in non-Euclidean geometry will accompany you well past the gates of Hell.
So, Called Shot, Rocky's ability. I don't like it in the slightest. It means I have to pick and choose targets well ahead of time. I'm supposed to be building an engine of destruction, which will reap in the energy and allow either myself or others to pull off the big shots. Thanks, I hate it. I want to be taking hits to the face and laughing as punching me killed you. Called Shot doesn't do that, to a degree I find obnoxious. Anna though? This is what ultimately sold her. Figures. Freaking sisters.
Triple Threat is the basic attack card of Rocky. And I never freaking draw it. Ever. No, really, in the multiple times I've played Rocky it never comes out. Anna though? Figures. She drew it all the time! This is one of the two cards that lets you get your energy out. Hit multiple targets, let a soft character take the hits necessary to get your engine up and running, and be all happy and shit. Let's Party does away with the attack and lets you attach more targets- I mean energy - to the monsters. If you're doing your job correctly you can get a third to three-quarters of the board tagged in a single turn, perhaps more if you've got someone who has passing cards in their arsenal. That's definitely something to check out with your group: party composition matters pretty strongly with Rocky. You want to make sure you got someone who can turn monster attacks into momentum and another person who can pass the ball back.
I mean, it's a partAY, right?? Gotta have someone to goof off with and the freaking designated driver to make sure he can carry your drunk ass home!!!
Erhem. Excuse me.
The reason, of course, to get Triple Threat and Let's Party! out is for Power Spin and Power Axes. Again, I'm absolutely lousy at this timing. Anna, of course, pulled it off without a hitch. We would watch as a ripple of damage would just flatten everything in its path; two or three enemy cards would die, we'd get massive amounts of energy, and all of a sudden we could finish the fight. And yeah, that was a good feeling! I'll admit it! I've been talking mad crap about Rocky this whole time but c'mon, felling multiple cards at one with good play just feels amazing!
I just wish I wasn't such a dunce about it.
Reckless Assault is kinda the weird card of the lot. It does low damage, costs and energy, and might get you another card play... if you kill the target? With two dice? Have you ever met me??
Oh c'mon, it was working for Anna too!
OH COME ON
Rocky's zord has one use: get Let's Party! back into your hand. That's it. That's its point. It's that simple. Go forth. Prosper. Do your thing.
God I hate this character. It's everything I don't want in a character. Ever. Period. But my sister got a core set 'cause she had such a fun time with Rocky, specifically, and wants to play the game with me as often as she can now, so...
Damnit.
Just damnit.
No comments:
Post a Comment