Suihkulahde: Session Ten

In  order to understand what's about to happen we need to talk about Akseli, the Elf Who Remembered. Akseli had been a captain of the Sword Singers, who were dedicated to keeping The Nameless away from the planet Heranyt.  Akseli was not the best warrior against the Nameless, but he was certainly more than competent. He was certainly well-known. He had fallen in love with Makirta, who had helped him become a better person and warrior, not to mention a better friend. All was well.

Until Makirta revealed herself to be a dark elf agent of The Lone Keep. Akseli's goodness had driven Makirta to repent of her ways. She asked for help in atoning for her crimes, especially against Akseli. Enraged, Akseli drove Makirta away. She pleaded for forgiveness and was refused. Shortly afterwards Akseli threw himself recklessly against several Nameless and "wiped", a process wherein all your memories are removed from the person. For most humans this is an instantly lethal process. For elves they may live, but they will never get their memories from before the attack.

Except for Akseli. He came back.

Akseli's best friend, Yngvar, would not give up on him. Over the course of several decades Yngvar helped Akseli get back almost all of his memories from before the Nameless attack. This included most of Akseli's memories of Makirta, who had been missing for decades. Akseli looked for her, but was unsuccessful. He was heartbroken.

Decades later Akseli met Mikansia, Makirta's daughter by her brother, the vile Krakeru, who had accidentally become a member of his Sword Singer unit. Miksansia abandoned the Sword Singers to try to kill Krakeru, which is when Akseli realized who she was. After Mikansia had killed Krakeru, Akseli abandoned the Sword Singers to help her discover who in the elven nations was helping Krakeru and The Lone Keep. This investigation led to Yngvar being killed by an elf called Zaina.

Akseli was devastated by the loss of Yngvar. He got the chance to meet Yngvar in Dream, the world between the living and the dead, where Yngvar asked Akseli to let go and grieve as he should. Akseli refused; he had lost too much. While in Dream Krakeru attacked Akseli, and forced his own memories into Akseli's mind, corrupting Akseli at his core. Akseli, however, worked to fully integrate the corruption, attempting to become a new person. Instead of succumbing to his new influence he resolved to integrate it. He asked for Mikansia's understanding in this unique transition.

She was unable to give it; Akseli died in her arms, his sorrow disintegrating him. Mikansia was able to face Akseli later and accepted his forgiveness, as well as help free Makirta, who had been used to keep The Lone Keep in the sky. Akseli had last been with Mikansia, helping her destroy Zaina and save Kotae Mah.

With the debacle of last session's mistake past us, we all got ready for a nice and simple beat down. Lena in particular has a taste for violence as a way of venting, which we always have a good laugh about. "Murder!" is usually the cry we start up. It's great.

So Fingar had welcomed The Nameless in, swearing revenge on Anneli. Nomi, no matter how mad dai was at Anneli, would never allow Fingar to kill dail sister. It was a very short conversation. Everyone thought they knew what they wanted.

This is what came back to me:

Anneli

B1. Indecision brings disaster; I will never hesitate again.

B2. I had a hand in Fingar's pain; I will relieve dai of it.

B3. Something strange has happened to Nomi's grief; I must uncover what.

I1. When in doubt, lie.

I2. Always command the hesitant.

I3. Always give Nomi a space to speak.

Traits: Call of the Island, Righteous, Mortally Wounded in the Head, Shaky Hands, Slightly Clumsy, Haunted, Commanding Aura,Driven (Pilot)

Nomi

B1. I can’t forget what Anneli did for Constantine, but Fingar will not be allowed to deal with dai. 

B2. There is no time for moral grandstanding: Fingar and the Music must be stopped quickly by any means before we lose the entire crew. 

B3. Grieving doesn’t get things done. 

I1. Always bend the truth for personal advantage

I2. Never worry about others’ personal feelings

I3. Always act towards my own goals first.

Traits: Educated, Call of the Sea, Spite, Deceptive, Compulsive Liar, Callous, Charismatic, Memory’s Influence, Bitter, Guarded

Fingar swore revenge. And then ran into the forest by the beach. Anneli and Nomi collapsed under the weight of The Music that began, only for the Prostitute to take over Anneli's body and begin to sing along with The Music. Nomi slapped Anneli as they both came out of their respective stupors. Remus, Brutus, and Aloisio lay screaming on the ground; The Music always hurt humans more than it did elves. Nomi said they needed to kill Fingar, immediately, as dai was clearly the source of The Music. Anneli disagreed; Fingar was in pain and needed help! Both agreed there wasn't time to argue and they'd figure it out when they got there. The Music changed, somehow, almost like Fingar had begun to manipulate it. Anneli and Nomi went in after Fingar.

I had called for a Steel test... which Andy failed by three heartbeats and Lena by one. Andy gave the idea of The Prostitute singing along with The Music. This concept caused Lena and I to shudder. We'd had a lot of experience with The Music in the story and the idea of anyone singing with it was a bit stomach-churning. I had Andy roll a Tracking roll to go after Fingar. He failed. Horribly.

Fingar's shadow, now on its own, ambushed Anneli. Anneli didn't see the shadow in time and was stabbed by a mysterious blade the shadow wielded. Anneli's eyes lost their color and dai went. Fingar jumped out at Nomi and tried to stab dai in the back; dail blade bounced off Nomi's armor. Fingar had poised the blade dail shadow had used against Anneli. It had been intended for Nomi, but Fingar wasn't disappointed that dai had to take on Nomi; this was better. Nomi swore revenge.

This was where I started to spring my trap. Andy and Lena didn't know it yet, but Fingar had been greatly empowered by The Nameless. I made a quick roll to poison Fingar's blade from an orc power I'd found. I had pumped up the skill test at six dice. I threw in Intimidation as dai was manipulating The Music. 

I rolled all successes. 

That was plus seven on power.

Dear God. 

So at that point it was up to Andy: was he going to pass that Tracking test, or not? Well, Andy wasn't trained. And Andy bombed the roll. Horribly. So Fingar's shadow got a good jump on Anneli. I just needed to scratch Anneli, even barely, to deal a B10 wound.

How on earth did I roll all successes again??????

That bumped it all the way up to a G8 wound. Andy and Lena balked, while I stared at my usually unlucky dice. This was supposed to be a simple "gang up on the sub-boss and barely scrape it out". 

Yes, sub-boss. Thungal's coming. The players were happy with that idea too. Anyway.

Andy immediately had an idea and asked if we could get to see Anneli on the other side. Lena and I had done quite a bit of stuff with the other side, so we were excited to see what he had cooked up.

Anneli came to on the banks of a river; the Prostitute was beside dai. She told Anneli she couldn't get on the boat. Just as Anneli was wondering what that meant a bored ferryman appeared, along with his boat. He asked them to hurry up, he had more passengers to collect. There was a coin in Anneli's hand; Anneli wasn't sure when it was never not there. Anneli gave it to the Prostitute, saying dai would find another way back to the land of living and dai wasn't in the mood to die anyway. The Prostitute thanked Anneli and finally introduced herself: Flavia. 

The boat left Anneli alone on the shore.

And that. Was. Awesome. Anneli letting Flavia go was quite unexpected and Lena and I really thought it was cool and said so. I said I had an idea, one how to get Anneli back to the land of the living. Lena was excited; she knew where I was going with this. 

Anneli was not alone for too long. Merry-making could be heard from afar. Up came that strange elf who'd dropped off Nomi in the first place, surrounded by elves, half-elves, and a human with some elven heritage. The elf asked if Anneli needed help, and where was Nomi? Anneli said Nomi was in trouble and that dai needed to get back.

Mikansia introduced herself and then Akseli, who she said could help Anneli. Anneli knew who Akseli was: the Elf who Remembered. A bit of a rockstar moment ensued. Akseli told Anneli that dai could be sent back to help Nomi, but that Anneli would be different. Anneli accepted. Akseli handed Anneli a white stone with a name on it in gold letters; that stone was part of Akseli and would help "glue" Anneli back together, allowing dai to continue on in dail body.

Andy was a bit... overwhelmed. He'd not read The Undertow, and didn't know about white stones, not to mention Akseli. Lena and I had to explain who Akseli was how everything worked. Andy was a bit reserved at first, but once he realized that this was a well-established fact of the world and not us trying to weasel him out of a Mortal Wound he accepted excitedly.

Anneli asked if Mikansia had any words for Nomi. With great warmth Mikansia said 'Tell Nomi dai has what it takes. And always has." Anneli came to, looking up into the dark trees of the island.  Dai heard the exchange between Fingar and Nomi and phased out, white stone cool in dail hand.

It was already a bit strange role-playing Mikansia. I'd offered to Lena the opportunity to play her old character, but Lena was way too pleased to see what I would do with Mikansia. No pressure, not at all! I knew I needed to make it good, particularly with Andy's request. So I said the only thing that came to mind. It wasn't until later that Lena let me know I'd nailed her old character completely. Way to go making me wait to find out, Lena!

When we got back I asked Andy what he wanted to do. Andy said he wanted to Lena to take point. If she didn't take out Fingar he would join in. I asked Lena if she had an idea, and she said she did. She wanted to try to use the Fugue of Discord to temporarily separate Fingar from dail bond with The Nameless. I'd honestly no idea, so I looked it up in the Codex, decided Obstacle 5 was more than high enough to at least try, and told her to roll.

Nomi sung the Fugue of Discord, a tune that normally made people fight and disagree with each other. Dai hoped it would separate Fingar from the Nameless, even if for a moment. Fingar's eyes widened in surprise; The Music stopped for a moment. Nomi knocked Fingar over and ran dail head through with Sydanelma.

Lena crushed the Obstacle 5. Dear God. She also crushed the roll against Fingar, stabbing dai with the grey-shaded sword.

Anneli finally got dail bearings and sat up. Nomi didn't expect that but didn't show it. Anneli told Nomi Mikansia's message, which affected Nomi deeply. Anneli tried to show the stone to Nomi, who couldn't see it, but had known about it from Mikansia.

Anneli mourned over Fingar's corpse. And realized that Nomi just... wasn't. Couldn't. Anneli pointed it out, that Nomi couldn't mourn. Nomi said that Fingar had it coming. Anneli didn't disagree; there was a comfort in this ending, that it couldn't be done again. They couldn't go back. Nomi remarked coldly that was such a neat and tidy bow.

I called for a Perception roll from Andy as he and Lena described their character's reactions to Fingar's death. I had been dropping Andy's belief about figuring out what had happened to Nomi for three sessions. That needed to stop. I needed to get it done.

They heard the humans screaming for help, so they rean to the beach. Aloisio was screaming over Brutus's corpse. Anneli managed to calm Aloisio down with song, as well as Remus. 

They all saw a blue glow on the ocean; an army of strange blue humanoids, walking on the water. Everyone somehow knew Thungal was at their head. 

I mean, it wasn't a "feeling" for the players: I told them. 

All of Life is Grieving

So I went to my EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) session. For those who don't know, EMDR can go to some rather weird places. Memories that EMDR bring up include singular moments in time... up until this point. This round an entire entire span of years was contextualized. And it's brought me to a most inconvenient truth, one which my father has been trying to teach me for years; all of life is grieving.  There's never a moment when you're needing to grief, on some level, no matter if you like it or not.

Most of my teenage years were defined by an emptiness and a rage that held no clear purpose. That loneliness, that desolation, would keep me up at night. I was unable to understand what was happening. For years I've still felt it, even as it's begun to fade with Maria's return to my life, as well as the advent of our children. As of recently that feeling has begun to return in full force. I've done my best to deal with this sudden resurgence of nihilism and self-loathing, but it's not been easy. There's just been this hole in my heart that I've not really been able to figure out. 

And then this flashback happened.

There were very few times in my life where I've felt in control. One of those points was the summer when I was thirteen or so. I was living out in a dilapidated trailer behind Maria's house, on thirty acres of woods. The children who had tormented me for over half a decade were miles away. I awoke, ate breakfast, and went outside to peace and tranquility. I'd hang out with Maria and her family. I'd run through the woods and get myself lost so I didn't have to deal with anyone if I didn't have to. I would go in the evenings to train at the dojo, prepping myself to become national champion. I'd come home and go to sleep. During the day I'd draw, read, and not see a single soul that I did not want to. It wasn't an easy time. It was one of the few times I had a knowledge of who I was, where I was going, and how I related to those around me. 

And then that fall we left. I stopped training Muay Thai, due to a lack of a dojo. I'd had what I thought was a falling out with Maria, and so I'd stopped seeing her.

Every single day after that point was a living hell.

When I was a senior in high school one of my friends told me that when she had first met me she was terrified, because she had no idea what to expect from me. The druggies were apparently discussing what I could possibly be on to make me so volatile. Shaken, I turned to one of my sisters, who confirmed I was mercurial, on a very good day, and that in general it was a good idea to just avoid me altogether. None of them, of course, had been there at nights to watch what happened when the sun went down and all my disappointment came crashing in. But at the time I couldn't remember: there was a time when I was in control. I may not have been very happy (happiness is overrated), nor had much peace (highly underrated), but I was in control. 

And all of a sudden I have that memory back. There was, indeed, a time when I felt myself, the master of my own fate. For many that may not make sense. But knowing that the holes in my soul were once plugged, that I had found some form of equilibrium, no matter how flawed and fleeting, is enough. It also explains why, when I try to train Muay Thai now, a feeling of emptiness and grief overwhelms me. My life had been broken for years; it's not going to repair overnight.

I called my father and told him what had happened. My father responded with regret. He hadn't taught me to grieve the emotions I had been feeling all that time because he hadn't been raised to do it either. How much could have been prevented if only I had been taught how to process and not judge what I didn't understand! I did not need to know why I was sad to process it. It's fortunate I know now, but my father was himself grieved by how badly the ball had been dropped.

I mean, how else was I going to know? As a culture the United States is terrible at grieving. We still labor under the delusion that work equals a result, and therefore  if we somehow keep pushing ahead we will find meaning in what we are doing. Nothing is further from the truth, of course. You must grieve. You must sit with your sorrow, process it, and allow it to influence your personality. Missing things is normal. You cannot restore balance by ignoring the warning klaxons in your nervous system that tell you that not all is well. And there are so many things in the world that hurt! And yes, if they hurt you you have to grieve them. That doesn't mean pausing your life; not grieving stops your life, even while your heart is beating. But it does mean you cannot separate your grief from the rest of your identity. You cannot see yourself without the grief over things that went wrong. You are not just your happiness.

I keep finding that, whenever I pray, actually pray, that I find myself in a state of heartbreak. It's not that praying breaks my heart. It's that I find that I am broken. Encountering God; encountering wholeness, is going to include at least one moment where you realize that you're not. And those things, those breaks in my soul, will stand out. Isaiah, upon meeting God face-to-face, cried out "WOE IS ME". He wasn't crying out because God terrified Him. He cried out because he realized that his heart was broken in a million pieces. And he was overwhelmed by what he saw, within himself. Like anyone else he probably had pushed aside his emotional damage, tried to ignore it, wanted to focus on something that wouldn't make him have to face his own heartbreak. But looking at the face of God requires you to see it; Isaiah could not ignore it.

And so he grieved. He had to accept what he was.

And God helped him do it.

Because of all the names that we've given God, the most beautiful (and therefore most true) is Mercy.

Impact!: Session Two

The Burning Wheel says that it's the person with the fire in his gut that is to become the GM. He must bring a vision for the others to not only care about but to modify and bring to life by joining their ideas to his, creating something far greater than the GM had envisioned. And I've found that to be true in all the campaigns I've run. Burning Wheel is a demanding game. It's not easy to play. But man, when everyone gives their all into it the results are spectacular. I can never be grateful enough for the people I play with, who have managed to take a world that I care about so much and make it so much better, because they're a part of it. Thank you, to all of you who play with me.

With this campaign and Suihkulahde I found myself in strange waters. Orcs are not a race I really sympathized with, in any iteration, and so I don't have a very strong connection to them. Having to figure out what the symbol of orc means to me has been no easy task, especially since Tolkien was never really comfortable with them either. What do you do with a race that was bred to be evil, but since all that exists is inherently good...

Guess I'll find out through play, won't I?

Will and Lena wanted to know what their pitch was. I'd no freaking idea for a week and a half. Normally I know what to do. I sure as hell didn't here. They asked a few times, I promised them something, and then realized I had nothing. So I sat down, looked at session one, and decided to hell with it, we were going to just keep chasing the rabbit. I was going to see how far these two folks wanted to screw over elves. So I said they needed to prove themselves to the Lone Keep. If they were going to be able to use the weapons of the Lone Keep they needed to be worthy of them.

I got some questions right after that of what the hell I meant by that. My group is comprised of those who want to redeem characters. How far in going to evil was I talking about here?  We'd all agreed to play a game where the evil is turned to good, so how far was I talking? I said we'd find out, but I'd not forgotten the mission statement of the group.

This is what came back:

Tekoshai

B1. I’m going to make sure I’m walking out of here with every advantage this place has to offer both myself and the orcs. 

B2. This Krakeru doesn’t seem like any other elf bastard I’ve had to work for. Maybe he can be useful. 

B3. Idiota was clearly Named appropriately; he won’t last the return trip if he doesn’t learn to break to the lash of his betters

I1. If someone challenges the hierarchy, put him in his place immediately. 

I2. Always use others when expedient

I3. Always protect yourself at all costs

Idiota

B1. Tekoshai can screw off, he doesn't deserve my respect 

B2. Elves evilness is destroying this planet, I must try to learn how to use these weapons of mass destruction to stop them at all cost

B3. I will not be persuaded from believing I'm the rightful heir to the throne

I1. when startled attack

I2. before entering a room, scan for danger

I3. once in a room scan for all possible exits

Krakeru looked at Tekoshai's works of torture and murder, genuinely impressed. Tekoshai was briefly uncomfortable, but accepted that Krakeru wasn't like most dark elves he'd worked with. Krakeru asked if Tekoshai was ready to move up in the world. Tekoshai told Krakeru to lead the way! So Krakkeru led Tekoshai through the double doors before them, where Idiota had walked through a few minutes before. Krakeru told Tekoshai that he couldn't use the weapons of the Lone Keep alone; he'd need help. And for that they needed Idiota.

The minotaur who had been standing next to Idiota asked him if he was willing to do whatever it took to restore the minotaurs, including destroying the elven race. Idiota said he'd do whatever it took. Just as he said this the doors opened, and in walked Tekoshai. 

Krakeru appeared next to Idiota, startling him. Will, who has a penchant for chaos, rubbed his hands in glee. I had him roll Intimidate, to see if he impressed Krakeru with the instinctual swing he was about to make. If  Idiota succeeded Krakeru would take a shine to Idiota and help reign in Tekoshai's own instinct of enforcing hierarchy. Lena and Will are very good friends, who like giving each other as much shit as they can in any game they play together, so they were both excited to get artha for doing what they do best. 

Idiota failed the roll. So Krakeru was... less than impressed with Idiota's aggression. So he didn't get in the way when Tekoshai got his lash out. I was still very uncomfortable with the idea that there was no whip skill, so I asked if it was okay to for me to check with the Burning Wheel Discord group really quick, to make sure I hadn't missed anything. Lena and Will gave permission, and for the moment we went with Agility versus Speed.... which Will borked. Hard. Tekoshai got an actual Light wound off on Idiota, forcing a Steel test. Which was also horribly failed.

Will chose for Idiota to run screaming. So off he went, through the eldritch eggs that were forming! All of us were laughing at just how badly this was going. So Tekoshai ran Idiota down, tackling him to the ground.

It was here we learned from Discord that there is a Lash skill, in the Codex, with trolls. Given how important the whip seemed to be to Tekoshai I asked if we wanted to allow Lena to swap out one of her weapon skills for Lash, as that would make the whip central to Tekoshai. Lena liked the idea, cracking some BSDM jokes which had Will and I laughing hysterically.

Anyway.

Tekoshai took out a knife and cut the symbol of his tribe into Idiota's flank. Idiota belonged to Tekoshai now and he was going to help unlock the weapons that Krakeru was offering them. Yet another borked rolled from Will; Idiota, cowed, called Tekoshai crazy under his breath as he got up, smarting from the carving in his flank.

Krakeru had two turmeltunuts (creatures who fall apart without the presence of pain) bring out a female elf who'd been caught trying to infiltrate the Keep. Two pairs of wicked-looking gauntlets were brought out, with all sorts of sharp curves and profane symbols etched into them. Tekoshai eagerly put on his pair and forced Idiota to put on his pair. Directed by Krakeru, Tekoshai punched the elf in the stomach. There was a scream that sounded like existential glass breaking; the elf's soul was literally punched out of her body, dipping it into Herna, the dark abyss that none wish to go to. The elf, when she came back, seemed happy to see Tekoshai and Idiota; they were going to fix everything, after all, how could she not be happy to see them?

Krakeru explained that if both pairs of gloves gripped the elf's head they could exorcise her soul and bring something else to take over the body. Tekoshai was ecstatic; Idiota was scared. So was the elf, as she realized they were going to do it. She pleaded with Idiota, telling him he had a choice. Idiota weakly told her he didn't; she disagreed, pitifully. A scream was heard from reality itself: metaphysical nails on a chalkboard. Ash came out of the elf's mouth. A fell light came into her eyes. The voice that now came out was male, deep and disturbing. It asked for Tekoshai's and Idiota's name. Tekoshai gave his.

So quick lore note: this is happening before session thirty-four of The Undertow. In that session Mikansia had discovered that Kotae Mah, the capital of the Elven Kingdoms had been ripped apart by civil war. I've no idea why, but I realized that this was the beginning of the devastation that Mikansia had walked in on. Like most things when GMing a game, it was a moment of "OH, RIGHT, OF COURSE!"

Krakeru told Idiota and Tekoshai that Kotae Mah was currently falling apart. Tekoshai and Idiota could go and unbalance the elves in their moment of weakness... destroy the elves with what looked like elves.

Suihkulahde: Session Nine

If there is one thing that I have trouble with it's resolving things. I have a hard time cleaning a room; I always get that moment of dread as I do clean: "What happens when that nagging feeling that I need to clean is resolved?" My life, in some way shape or form has been defined by things that should have happened but did not and having to live with a lack of resolution. I went to Benedictine to get the skills to become a professional iconographer. When I realized that I didn't want to do that, seeing how that hurt an ability to have a family, I had to remind myself I needed to get a degree and move on. And that was one of the most terrifying things I've ever done: I finished the degree, but only just.

I also am keenly aware how hard it is to end stories. A lot of my favorite stories (Lost and Star Wars most popularly) have really controversial endings. Identifying themes and making sure you're carrying out the logic of a story is very much so a thing I'm concerned over.

So I've been freaking out about doing it right here. I keep feeling this pressure to perform with this game. And that's about to trip me up, badly.

I threw the following pitch at the players. Aloysius shows Anneli and Nomi a shed full of torture equipment. At that point Anneli and Nomi would feel this sinking feeling in their guts, like they needed to hurry up. I set a real-world time limit: save Constantine by the end of the session or The Wave would come. 

Are you seeing the problem yet??

Anneli

B1. Aloysius is ensnared by his own hubris; I will see to it that he can never harm another.

B2. I must learn what dark business Aloysius has gotten mixed up in.

B3. Something strange has happened to Nomi's grief; I must uncover what.

I1.Never leave anything behind in this timeline.

I2. Always take command.

I3. Always give Nomi a space to speak.

Traits

Call of the Island, Righteous, Mortally Wounded in the Head | Shaky Hands | Slightly Clumsy, Haunted, Commanding Aura, Driven (Pilot)

Nomi

B1. Ensuring the safety of the ones I care about is more important than any future problems to deal with. I will deal with Aloysious myself if it comes to it. 

B2. I don’t understand what personal stake Anneli seems to have in this, but I can’t forget what she did for Constantine. 

B3. Grieving doesn’t get things done. 

I1. Always bend the truth for personal advantage

I2. When in trouble always try to talk my way out first

I3. Always act towards my own goals first.

Traits

Educated, Call of the Sea, Spite, Deceptive, Compulsive Liar, Callous, Charismatic, Memory’s Influence, Bitter, Guarded

Aloysius told Anneli and Nomi about how how all this torture equipment kept showing up on his doorstep every morning, despite his best attempts to stop it. After mocking Aloysius a little Nomi and Anneli withdrew to talk amongst themselves, in Elvish. Nomi told Anneli that was definitely Lone Keep stuff in the shed. That upset Nomi, who'd helped bring The Lone Keep down.

And yeah, Andy had a laugh as he realized that the Lone Keep wasn't just down, but Nomi had been there.

So it finally sunk in for Anneli that Nomi, the traitor and turncoat, had helped bring down The Lone Keep, had literally knocked it out of the sky. There was a lot of laughs about Anneli realizing that maybe Nomi really did change! That was shelved; they didn't have time for Anneli to come fully to terms with the fact that her sister may have actually done a lot of change in the year they'd not seen each other. They cooked up a plan to get Aloysius to give them more info about his life.

Lena rolled a graduated Perception test, and got a three. So she got three details! Aloysius told them what his routine was like, and three possible groups started to emerge: possible dwarven cultists of Leviathan, Aloysius's former soldiers who he had rejected, and those who hated his wife and Siamese twin step-daughters. Anneli told Aloysius to get in contact with his former soldiers, who still wanted revolution. Aloysius refused; his men wouldn't do that to him. They wouldn't be dropping off elven torture artifacts at his front doorstep. Anneli reminded Aloysius he'd jumped for a Dagger of Betrayal at the drop of a dime. Nomi brought out that very Dagger and held it out for Aloysius, who flinched, but even then could not deny his desire for the thing.  Anneli flinched too; she hadn't known Nomi still had it, even though Nomi had had Marian render it useless.

So Lena got Andy a helping die. 

And then Andy dropped a Deeds point, because he wanted this freaking test to work. And it did.

Nomi then demanded to come with Aloysius, to shadow him as he conducted his meeting. Aloysius refused, but Nomi pressed and Aloysius had to relent. Anneli also asked to come along, but didn't have the training  to do so without incident. So Nomi told her no; Anneli needed to trust her. 

And Anneli did.

Nomi followed Aloysius, who reluctantly found a former soldier of his in an incredibly seedy bar. The soldier happily said he'd get the boys back together. Aloysius left, disgusted with himself. Nomi wasn't too sympathetic.

Back at the farm Anneli began to hear strange whisperings, which reminded her of Leviathan. There was regrowing rainforest nearby; the whispering came from there. One hour's worth of digging and Anneli found it: a new Dagger of Betrayal. Repulsed, Anneli put the Dagger back where she found it and returned to Aloysius's house. When Nomi saw Anneli she could tell Anneli was not okay. Anneli told Nomi about the new, functional, Dagger... and that she'd left it there. Nomi was furious.

Aloysius was gone.

Anneli and Nomi ran to where the Dagger had been buried. Four shovels had been left at the empty site.  Anneli screamed and fell to her knees. Nomi realized that the look, that very odd look, that had been in Aloysius's eyes was that of someone stabbed with a Dagger of Betrayal. She hadn't wanted to admit it then, but they had led Aloysius right into his former compatriot's clutches.

We'd hit the physical time to end the session. And so I carried through on my threat. The Wave began.

Constantine's ghost appeared. Anneli begged for more time. Constantine sadly told them they hadn't been looking at the correct timeline. He asked Nomi to sit with him. Anneli and Nomi could feel It was coming. Time was about up. But Nomi refused; they could still change things! Somehow! Anneli began running to try and find Aloysius before it was too late.

A wave of pure light and peace washed over them. And then another. And then another. Mikansia's destruction of the Nameless had been so powerful that it had broken time itself. The world dissolved around them; the jungles of Argentum Prime faded into black. They were back on the beach, just outside the woods where they'd said they were going to get deer. Light pulses flashed over their heads, the stars looked down on the tragedy. Nomi screamed and tackled Anneli, laying into her with all her might. Anneli didn't resist. Nomi screamed at Anneli, blaming her for everything. Anneli was not in disagreement.

They heard a blood-curdling scream; Fingar rolled over on the ground, screeching about being stabbed in the head. Looking over at Anneli Fingar called her a traitor, swearing revenge.

Nomi stood up, asking Fingar to please threaten her sister again, Sydanelma in hand. 

I actually had a panic attack right after this session. I was still in a funk the next morning. So I contacted Lena and Andy, asking if they felt okay about the session. Andy said he it felt weird to burn a Deed's point and to have success snatched away by a time limit. While it wasn't something he wanted to throw down about it was disappointing to him.

I immediately messaged the both of them in our private group, airing the concerns Andy had. I offered to redo the session, without the time limit, as that had ruined agency, especially a Deeds point. Lena agreed  that the session did feel odd, that using a Deeds point shouldn't feel pointless. But ultimately that it was up to Andy, as she was more than happy to roll with the results. Andy didn't want a do-over. He just wanted that Deeds point to have some form of impact. Lena suggested that their interference with Aloysius have some form of a positive

I mean, what's there to say? I wasn't playing to find out what happened. I wasn't a total dickwad about it but even this.... (relatively??) light infraction was too much. 

So of course something happened to Aloysius. And it's going to come back to help Anneli and Nomi.

Trust your players. Trust the dice.

The rest is noise.

Especially your issues with resolving stuff. Any stuff.

Saying Good-Bye to Marvel Champions

I recently wrote a post about saying goodbye to Torchbearer. That post was an attempt to say that I found Torchbearer objectively fine, but not my cup of tea, something that I regret. That is not the case with Marvel Champions. I think it's got some foundational, objective flaws, which have slowly poisoned my enjoyment of the game, to the point to where I do not wish to play anymore. If you still like the game after reading the post more power to you. While I've no vitriol in mind I will not pull punches either. If I think something wrong I will say it.

Let's give the props where it's due: Marvel Champions is a fantastic pick-up LCG. The rest of my critiques need to be taken in this context. This is a good enough game, mechanically speaking. It is fun to play and can be quite engaging, particularly in a group setting. As the game ages and as the designers get the villain design down we're going to see some truly spectacular things from this game. And that's great! But I won't be along for the ride.

For the record, most of my comments come as a solo player of this game. If your response to any of my points is "But it doesn't work that way in a group!".... first off I doubt it, as I'm talking about some pretty foundational stuff. But second off, I've already given the disclaimer: because of logistics I've mostly played this game solo.

The number one, biggest problem, is that I find deckbuilding unsatisfying. The tricks just do not seem to matter to me. There isn't that kick of adrenaline for the vast majority of the game. It's feels too simple for me: do damage, remove threat and that's it! There's not enough dials for me to tinker with. Remove threat. Deal damage. Rinse. Repeat. And the tools just don't do it for me. The only aspect that I really connected with, Protection, just seems to be so hampered by... well... everything. Quicksilver finally did something substantial to address the issue, but it's something, not an actual fix. Regardless of whatever little boondoggle you've done the very next turn that threat will go up and possibly damage may be healed. It just doesn't feel like I did anything. Because there's only two things to really muck with it's hard to feel like I'm making progress.

And that brings us to actual scenario design. Again, there are only really two ways to interact with said design: keep the threat down while knocking the dude out, twice. 

Yes, yes, three times for Kang. 

Thank you, but that's not a substantive enough difference for me.

Given that there's no real way to interact with the game beyond threat and damage, you can't really do very much. Norman Osborn's scenario is a great idea... until you realize you have to beat him to a pulp, and that's all you can do. Ooh, there's scheming tokens or whatever? They go away when you deal damage. Goody, not only have you not invented a mechanic to deal with this unique and great idea, but you've made player's cards feel less effective because it's not even doing what it was designed to do. And that may be a bit mean, but considering just how discouraging it is to essentially waste your time because the designers wouldn't reach a bit more out of the box?

I don't like that. And I don't think it unreasonable to do so.

But the ultimately damning thing for me is that this is all the designers think Marvel is about. Marvel is about people being heroes, despite themselves. No, really, that's it. If you disagree, tough. Because that's what Marvel has been about since Lee and Kirby and Ditko started churning out their amazing stories. Period. Yes, if you disagree you're wrong. Flat. Tough if you don't like it.

Now, part of that formula includes kick-ass action. That is absolutely true. And I want that in a Marvel game, don't get me wrong! That's part of it. But what makes those villains compelling has so much more to do with them as people. Doc Ock is an abused child looking for respect. Red Skull wants his golden age back. Rhino is heartbroken from losing his wife and is trying to find purpose again. The Masters of Evil are common thugs who just want to pull off their big score. Kang wants a proactive approach to the problems of the world. Spidey doesn't punch his problems most of the time, he solves them with science and heart. Captain America is struggling with feeling irrelevant. Tony is an asshole who doesn't want to be one.

Okay, that last part was a bit mean.

Oh well.

Point is. 

I feel like the most important part of Marvel is missing. No, having Obligations doesn't cut it. Having cute little alter-ego cards isn't what I'm look ingfor, either. What makes a Marvel hero work is who they are under the costume. There needs to be more levers in alter-ego than healing and a few cute tricks surrounding supporting your super hero form. But that would require more going on with the villains than what they have. Which would require a significant amount of tweaking with the base system.

And that's really what I'm left with. The base system is myopic. I don't care about the fights if character isn't involved. And the thing is that card games can do this. It's not outside the realm of possibility. The game can be fun, but the lack of goals beyond threat and damage really hurts the game. A lot more can be done with this property. And it could have been. And it wasn't.

Mergzok: World Burning

We're gonna do it, folks. Yes, we're going to finish a freaking campaign. of Burning Empires. It may take us awhile, going every other week, but at this point I'm bound and determined. Burning Empires has long had a reputation as being almost unplayable, which I think is not accurate. A lot of overhead and a challenge to learn? Well yes! But unplayable? Naw. And the bits I've played of it are too good to leave it on the shelf. Revisiting it I am most intrigued about how artha and the trait vote have been repurposed into a competitive framework, which I think is really interesting.

So I pitched the game at my Torchbearer group. They accepted trying it. We sat down to burn up a world, and this is what we got. The numbers are to each stage of play: Infiltration, Usurpation, and Invasion. This is a series of negotiations. By making these mechanical decisions the setting materializes, making  unique world.

Interior World V 2 | 2 | 2 / H 1 | 2 | 3

We all wanted to be a bit more conservative at the start. I made the pitch and this one was a pretty simple agreement.

 

Partial Life (irradiated areas) V 3|0|3 / H 2|3|1

This option is about how much of the planet is actually livable. We agreed to Partial Life Support, with the areas that are unlivable by having heavy radiation.

Mostly Land V 2|2|2 / H 1|2|3

Oh, this one was specifically because they didn't want me to have Mostly Water, because I would have a huge advantage.

Naturally Tame V 1|4|1 / H 2|2|2

Again, this one was the one that everyone was the least uncomfortable with.

Low Tech Index V 2|3|1 / H 2|2|2

I rejected High Tech Index, flat. No way in hell. Lena requested Low Tech Index, and the rest of us thought it alright.

Civilian Commune V 2|2|2 /  H 2|2|2

Literally no one wanted any of the options. None. But man, Civilian Commune was the one we were the least offended by.

Factions Exist V 4|1|1 / H 0|0|0

This one was literally done because everyone thought it would be fun, the boost to my dispositions be damned. I cackled. Audibly. My glee was noted as a concern, but ignored.

Factions So Far:

Military Junta 0|1|5

Organized Crime 2|2|2

Cult Church 0|3|3

Psychologists 2|3|1

Slaves 4|1|1

Volunteer Force V 2|3|1 / H 2|2|2

Considering we already have a military junta, we figured a volunteer force made the most sense. And, again, the most even.

Paranoid Culture V 3|3|3 / H 4|4|4

Again, everyone hated it the least.

Raw Materials  V 1|2|3 / H 1|3|2

Thanks to Lena's decision to have slaves, we decided to have the planet have valuable raw resources of all kinds. It works for China, so why not us??

Standard Quarantine V 3|3|3 / H 2|2|2

This is where things got a bit tense. The players pitched a strict quarantine to me. I refused. Flat. I was already at a disadvantage in Invasion, which means that I'll have to make sure to grab a couple of different factions (military junta here I come!) and play some catch up if I wanted to have that in my back pocket.  The players, obviously, were not so willing to move. I offered them a clear advantage by having the advantage of economy. After some conferring we came to a compromise, and we wound up with a Standard Quarantine and Loosely Regulated Economy

Loosely Regulated Economy 1|1|3 / 2|2|2

And this is what we got at the end! I have a good advantage in Infiltration, and have to work to catch up in Invasion.

V 26|26|25 / H 21|26|29