Breaking Point

What in the fresh hell is that.

I've been watching the slow disintegration of the geek space for the last tens years with a growing sense of dread. Something felt off as early as the Iron Man movie, but I couldn't put my finger on it. Something was missing, something was off, but my God Tony Stark's on the screen and the Avengers Initiative and what a time to be alive!!!! And then the freaking Avengers, people. God, that was a home run. And then Age of Ultron got shot down by the audiences and broke Joss Whedon. I can't say I really blame him, that was the first movie from the MCU I regarded as actually something thoughtful. And, while I found that concerning, I didn't really think more on it at the time.

The last few years have been much worse. Rise of Skywalker is one of the few movies that actively rewrote how I saw the world, on such a deep and primal level that, four years later, I still haven't written about it. I'm not sure I ever will, to be honest, because the reception to a movie that actively taught me so much has been so toxic, so overwhelmingly stupid, that frankly I don't really see humanity as worth the time and effort it takes to actually talk about it. Mandalorian S3's reception further put the nail in that coffin for me; not one criticism I've read has been intelligent. Not even one.

And, at the same time, modern stuff continues to degenerate. Marvel has tanked in a way that I had hoped so profoundly wouldn't happen that it's actively discouraging. The joy I had in seeing other "normal" people enjoy The Avengers has soured into a firmly-set realization that this is not the age of the nerd, this is the age of the corporation raping nerddom into perpetual slavery. I mean, look at the abortion that is that Kraven trailer up there, folks. Kraven doesn't need an origin story! He's an amoral hunter, that's literally all you need to know about him. Why some exec decided we needed this I don't know.

Watching that horrendous.... whatever that was... something in me finally broke down. I don't want to comment on this level of shit! It's not even worth talking about. And that's what the corporations are pushing down our throats. And, watching that, something in me hardened. I refuse to comment on pure garbage and rage. I have gone to great lengths to not do these things, to not become involved in this sham of a culture war. There's sure a corporations versus fans war, that much is obvious, and I will do what I must against such incursions.

I can no longer sit by. I must write. I must create again.

See, breaking isn't an end. Breaking is a beginning. Seeds break from the temperature of a fire and give birth to something new in the ashes of the old. And this is the beginning. I knew, watching that trailer, that solely commenting upon culture from an Orthodox standpoint was ultimately futile.

I do not know quite yet what I will do. But there is no longer any way I can't do it, whatever it is.

Epic Collection: The Amazing Spider-Man, Great Power

I’ve been reading this volume of the first 18 issues and annual of Spider-Man (Amazing Fantasy 15, Amazing Spider-Man 1-17 and Annual 1) to my sons for the last few months. To call this tome magnificent would only be a mild overstatement. In fact I’d argue that few modern comics are even in the same continent, nevermind ballpark, of quality. This is because of the embracing of genre, the Marvel Method, and plain ole desperation. 

Comics, like most print media, isn’t high art. It’s entertainment, and the best entertainment knows it has to earn your time. Literature you more or less are expected to wrestle with; the reward doesn’t come from whether or not you had fun, but whether or not you changed because of the encounter. Entertainment is meant to be easy and fun and light and thus must earn its bread from you. If entertainment  isn’t fun that’s the fault of the creators. You must be sold on the idea that the entertainment is worth your time.

These 482 pages are entertainment at its best. 

Each issue is clearly crafted to tell an entertaining tale filled with laughs, action, and grounded tragedy. Peter can never escape his bad luck, and even when he does it’s only as a wink, that eventually the universe will kick him again, so enjoy the good luck while it lasts! But none of this is really all that grave: there’s tons of little (and big) laughs and truly awesome imaginative fights amidst the constant rush to one up the thrills! You spent your cash, they’re gonna prove you should do it again! Even when the plot wasn’t the best it was always in favor of being excited! Action packed! And the consequences always hit just right, delivering genuine pathos.

The Marvel Method is the best way to make comics. Yup. I said it. I mean it. I’m not going to soften it. By turning the process of making a comic into a true collaborative effort, Marvel gained the ability to put out a ton of books quickly. The artists were able to invest more in their work, while the writer spent less time on the part of the process that wasn’t his business. And Ditko makes the most use of his freedom here, creating page layouts that really need to be studied to be believed.

But none of this would matter if not for the most important element of the whole thing: desperation. Marvel was sinking, and they knew that the basic function of a comic book is to get you to pick up the next one. So Stan and Steve put the most exciting ideas they could onto the page, while making sure that the readers believed they could one up the excitement the next time. Each issue is a blatant (but supremely competent) advertisement for the next issue. If there is any one thing I’d say is missing in most comics today, it’s that this reality isn’t acknowledged, and the stories are worse off for it.

These first 19 issues of Spider-Man are sequential storytelling at its finest. By leaning into the genre and what a comic book actually is, embracing the fully collaborative nature of the medium, and realizing it was sink or swim time, Stan and Steve revolutionized comics. I don’t know if anyone has attempted comics on this earnest a scale since. And that’s a damn shame.

What Do I Mean When I Say God? And So What?

 Most atheists (mostly post-theists) I've met tense up when you say the word "God". I can't say I blame them. It's hard when a word so specifically means your angry and disappointed parents. In fact, one can just swap out "God" for "my parents who hurt me" and find that the meaning of what they're saying is actually completed by the swapping out. I don't hold this against anyone, for the record (although I will argue fiercely that this is the majority of atheists): part of developing as a theist is to recognize that God should not mean "my parents", a process that most not only never actually get around to, but even if they do it's easily the most horrifyingly difficult things one can do. God. Is. Not. Your parents who hurt you. And nobody in the Catholic and Orthodox Churches should mean it either. So what do these churches mean by God?

As always, by means of the crass and crude the profound is revealed:

Yes, pretty much always. Get over it, academics and right-wingers.

"Aha, you're saying God is pantheist!" some will cry out. No, I'm not. We have one more bit to add to the definition, and it comes from Les Miserables, from the revolutionary:

"The infinite exists. It is there. If the infinite had no me, the me would be its limit; it would not be the infinite; in other words, it would not be. But it is. Then it has a me. This me of the infinite is God."

The nearest equivalent to what the historical churches mean by God is a fusion of the above two: an infinite balance that has sapience, total personhood in its own right. If infinity, a mathematically necessary concept, did not have personhood it would not be infinite. If infinity did not have a communion of persons within it it would not be infinite. No, we're not talking about your parents, who were assholes to you. No Catholic or Orthodx text (or someone with a healthy view of God) ever meant your asshole parents. Ever. Protestants might, sure, I'll grant that, but literally nothing else in Christendom is that stupid. No, what we mean is that the sense that everything is connected not only is  but what you're sensing is a verb, an action from a being beyond what we could directly observe, for how could the finite truly understand the infinite?

In fact, this has always been what's meant by God: way back in the Old Testament God's response to "What's your name?" was "I AM WHO AM". "I am the thing that exists, existence itself". Not something that benefits from existence, like your or I, not something that claims to be the most existent thing, no, existence. Existence itself is sapient.

Little different from your asshole parents, right?

But so what? Who cares? Cool, you supposedly worship existence itself and attribute personhood to it. That's nice. My parents were assholes and they used your words to hurt me and I'm not going to get into that trap again. Totally legit response, for the record, not wanting to repeat abuse.

See, here's where it gets weird.

Now, let's walk through the logic of denying this concept, that infinity (once again, a mathematically necessary concept for you to have) is not person. Not only do you contradict that infinity is infinite - which is flat out stupid - but now you have to find something to replace that concept. Even five seconds of looking inward should convince anyone that they cannot actually define their own existence; your existence is bigger than your mind's ability to define it. This means you need help to define your own existence, just by definition of you having a mind and existing. Now, the concept that Existence has a voice and can talk to you plugs this problem immediately: you learn to talk to Existence and listen to Him. That's a heartbreakingly difficult thing to do, but it's that or sit empty and alone for the rest of eternity. Make your choices kiddos! But, what if Existence Itself is not alive? What if you accept such an absurdity? You have to look to others in the ever-shifting and frankly incredibly cruel world around you to help you define yourself.

That, right there, is a trap. And we all know it. But do you know why it is a trap, beyond the fact that everyone around you changes and nothing is constant? Because the idea that you can stay fully rational in such a search is dumb. Humans hunger for meaning, which is a communal exercise. And eventually all people will cave to this need, and decide that something that doesn't appear to move all that much will suffice for your canon, your standard. The brain gets tired, it cannot just stand on its own, and anyone with even a modicum of rationality knows this. Eventually you have to find something that resembles infinity to rest in, if Infinity Himself is rejected.

Y'know what looks stable? The government. Corporations. They're bigger than you, on a level that's hard to understate. Clans can look eternal. they're not, but the likelihood of your government and the corportations that keep it going dying out before you looks less likely, and you will have to stop somewhere eventually.

Do you see where this is going? It's not a good place, is it?

This is what totalitarianism looks like. Without God there must be something to attach to that at least appears infinite. And there is only one way to go that doesn't end in a mental breakdown: the state, as an end, as master, as God. By rejecting Infinity you will always circle back to the state, corporations, clan, etc. You cannot be out in the dark alone forever. Societal atheism will always lead to the gulags. Always.

Those are your choices: Existence Himself is God, the state is God, or you just fall apart in the end.

Meaning will never not be communal. Find who you want to define it with.