Your Nous is not Your Mind

 "I believe that the greatest problem of western philosophy is that it identifies the nous with reason and intellectual knowledge with existential knowledge. Even contemporary scholars in the West point to this fact."

- Metropolitan Hierotheos, "Orthodox Psychotherapy", Preface to the English Translation, pg 13

There is no straight English equivalent for nous in English. It is in no English Bible that I am aware of. Words like "mind", "mind's eye", "perception", etc, are used instead, even though Greek has many different words we translate out to mind. And yet it is of primary importance that one understand what nous is, how it works, where it's referenced in the New Testament, and that it is not your mind. Your mind is a filter. Your nous is what lets you perceive.

Here's where it's used, thanks to Blue Letter Bible's Concordance. Notice how many words we use in English to try and translate this thing! And that's just one word! All translators are traitors; no matter how hard a translator tries he will never be able to get the full meaning of the text passed on. If you're going to seriously examine any text that is translated, that you need to get at least somewhat familiar with the original(s). Truth takes work.

To the best of my knowledge Paul's use of "nous", while it seems to be in line with most ancient thought, has been co-opted to mean merely rational thought today. 

No civilization I know of thought of knowledge as being merely rational. 

The Enlightenment's idea that all of history has been leading to an era of "science" and reason is an invention. A fabrication, even less helpful than a modern idea of the fairy-tale. The Golden Bough, which popularized this nonsense, was thoroughly mocked by scholars of that time (well-sourced Wikipedia for the win!) for being a phantasy (spelling changed to identify the word more closely with a similar word, phantasm, or illusion). Despite its findings having no basis in fact the damage was done; the 20th century exploded with these ideas. At least fairy tales tell us things that are true that we cannot find very easily in the material world. They tell us things that are true, no matter what our eyes tell us. Because, as any one who is being honest will admit, eyes lie all the time. The notion that minds are chiefly rational is relatively new and has no absolutely no basis in any sort of scientific (the process of observation - hypothesis - test - analysis- rinse and repeat) process. At all.

Sorry. 

It's a lie. The 19th century, popularized through the Golden Bough, forced literally every single ancient text through their bullshit lens and we've been force-feeding ourselves their nonsense for the last few hundred years. Our understanding of God has been so mucked with that our modern religious experience has been almost completely neutered.

Because nous does not mean mind, psyche. Nous, when used in British English, means "common sense", alertness. I want to stress that last word, because it's the closest equivalent to the meaning of nous that I know of in English. The nous is aware of everything. It tracks emotions, thoughts, feelings, fantasies, the whole shebang. 

It also hears that small, quiet, Voice, which no honest Christian can deny. 

That Voice of Peace, which is fearsomely powerful. "Soft as iron, safe as lions," as Jon Foreman puts it. 

Because alertness does not mean "filtering". It just means you're alert. Your mind decides what is legitimate to follow up on. To filter and to be aware are two different functions. To say that the thoughts in your head are the only legitimate thing to follow up on is so laughably bad (even by modern standards!) that all it takes is to point this basic fact out to shatter the illusion at once. 

Your feelings are hardly rational, but they are just as important, if not more important, than most thoughts generated to control your world. Feelings cannot be controlled and muzzled. You must live with them. That small, still, Voice that can be heard is definitely not rational and couldn't give a flying fig about what we think makes sense. It simply states the truth, no matter how hard it is for us to stomach it.

Your mind can filter the nous. It is not the nous itself. 

Small perceptions create small minds create small miserable worlds. Small minds can only focus on small things, but the pressure created by weeding out all but rational thought is so intense it can create disasters unheard of before. 

Y'know, like this one:

But don't worry, we're safe from religious wars, which only comprise 7% of all recorded wars. At least we've got that.

Impact!: Session Three

Folks, what the hell is going on with this game?? I knew I was going into something new, by handling orcs and doing a new race, but I didn't anticipate the story to throw me as much as it had. I've no idea what this story is. When I threw the pitch I thought I did. 

There's "boxes" I reach into when playing. What comes out I put before the players. Usually these boxes are congruous with the pitch; what's on the tin is generally what's inside. Sometimes there's surprises, but generally what's on in the tin is at the top of the box. That's not been the case for this game, at all. What I've reached into isn't just dark, but alien, to me. Let's see how that works out this session!

LAST TIME ON....

Idiota had tried to get away from Tekoshai, who traumatized Idiota and forced him to work with the orc. Krakeru, evil departed dark elf, gave them both a pair of gauntlets that could force someone out of their own body if punched. If both Tekoshai and Idiota held their hands to someone's head they'd be permanently exorcised from their own bodies and some... thing... would take over that body. And with the both of them now capable of hulling out elves, Krakeru sprung his trap: go to Kotae Mah and destabilize the hated elves.

When Will and Lena asked me what the situation this time was, I thought: "Well, why not keep doubling down on this whole civil war thing on Kotae Mah? Send Zaina, the crazy elf who eventually becomes Yetekaida?" Something about that felt wrong, but it was the logical spot to send them to, given how things worked out last session. I knew I had to do something, but I didn't know why, and I didn't know what.

Here's what they gave me.

Tekoshai

B1. Travel around the outskirts of this place to find lone elves to begin turning, cautiously building our numbers while avoiding much notice. 

The Goal Belief. Simple, to the point, and it helps set up the limits of the fiction. I don't buck Goal Beliefs too much. I like to try to have the players set the limits of the session, so that way they have at least some security. At this point I knew there'd be sneaking around.

B2. Idiota was too foolish to respect sensible strength, but propaganda may be the ring in his nose to lead him. 

This was a bit of an unexpected Belief. Tekoshai seems to have run into some wall or something; I'd never even heard a breath from Lena about Tekoshai being that reasonable. I mean, his version of reasonable, anyway.

B3. Those sun-burnt sky devils and their arrogant condescending bullshit deserve every ounce of hell and pain we can give them.

There's sometimes a player writes a Belief and I just bust out laughing reading it, because I can hear them saying it. This was definitely one of those! I had a good chuckle, hearing this in Lena's voice.

I1. If someone challenges the hierarchy, put him in his place immediately. 

Oh, this one was written for Will. I don't need to worry about this one.

I2. Elves are always tortured more slowly/painfully

So I'm always bad about challenging Instincts, or at least I feel like I am. This is one of those that's always fun to do.... if I remember. Three guesses on whether or not I did!

I3. Once you begin trying to break someone,  always follow through

Again, a fun one! Part of the issue with Instincts is that if you're not paying constant attention to them they don't come up a lot. And I have a real issue with using them. I need to. Cause guess if this one happened? Guess!

Traits: Life is Death, Born to Rule Them All, Enemy of the Sun, Silent Hatred, Intense Hatred, Savage Consequences, Unrelenting Savagery, Where There’s a Whip, Sixth Sense, Sadistic

Idiota

B1. The claim to my throne isn't here, I'm gonna try and sneaky away from here

Again, I don't tend to challenge the fiction on Goal Beliefs all that much. I probably should? But things can twist so much just on their own that I try not to push it, at least at first. Let the players have their initial security on the first few sessions.

B2. This place is creeping me out. I will leave Tekoshai to his own devices because he doesn't deserve my respect anyway

There's a lot of talk between us players about how the heck these characters are going to stay together. When I hear that talk I always, always urge to just write out what the character would want and let it solve itself during play. Because it always does, one way or another. So I told Will to let it play out.

B3. Find a way to take out the elves some other way, because elves are bastards

And this is the one I decided was not just the common point between Idiota and Tekoshai, but the one that needed subversion. Somehow. Elves aren't bastards, even if the common minotaur conception was that elves of some sort had poisoned their race and made them unable to breed.

I1. When I encounter any elf, I kill them

Deliberately written for Lena's benefit. I think I may start encouraging players to write Instincts to each other, not to me, because those are the ones that get artha a lot of the time! Not that that's an excuse, but it is something I'm noticing as I write these up.

I2. When Tekoshai whips out his whip cower in fear

Ooh, I like this one. It's a good sign of character growth... and it's directed at Lena. Not on my plate. Yay!

I3. Run from danger when possible

Again, this is a good character growth one. I like it when Instincts begin to change in reaction to play. Idiota's been traumatized, repeatedly, and has bitten off a lot more than he can chew. Like, a lot more. It's good to see stuff like this.

Traits: Elves are bastards, All talk and no bite, Mouthy

Will asked about the light wound he'd gotten from the last session. I had him roll and he recovered just fine. 

Zaina came down in an elven flying ship, landing atop The Lone Keep. Tekoshai found there to be no real... anything... in her eyes as she smiled at Krakeru, asking if these were the folks he'd told her to come pick up. Idiota, seeing an elf, made his jump... and was tripped by Tekoshai's spear. "Are we really going to do this again?" asked the exasperated Tekoshai, rolling his eyes.

Time for Will's instinct to go off! And time for Lena to block him! Laughing about how she was keeping Will alive, Lena's vastly superior dice pool swamped him. This was a pretty simple roll, cut and dry. There's not a whole lot more to it than that, beyond Will chuckling as he saw his artha coming.

Tekoshai told his orcs and his wolf Howling Wind that they were getting on Zaina's ship. The orcs murmured in protest; they weren't going to get on any elf's flying ship, no matter who led them!  Howling Wind told Tekoshai as much. Tekoshai gave a speech about the enemy of their enemy being our friends, along with a veiled threat about what would happen if they didn't get on that ship. Idiota tried to sneak away during the speech, but he was spotted quickly and brought back. Tekoshai beat Idiota back down, asking if anyone else wanted to do something that stupid again. The demonic elf that had been hollowed out last session had gotten in before any of them, ready for the inevitable carnage.

This was actually a Command check; Lena leveraged Tekoshai's connections, threw in an Intimidate FORK, and passed with flying colors. Will didn't even ask for a roll; he simply wanted to have it in the fiction just how much he was trying to get away.  Lena, laughing described beating up Will's character with great aplomb. 

But then Lena suddenly decided to take a different tack. 

Zaina steered the ship into the sky, toward Tekoshai sat down and had a long conversation with Idiota about why he was fighting all of this so hard. He hated the elves, what was wrong with what was going on here? Idiota responded that he was uncomfortable working with a dead elf to kill elves. That didn't add up to Idiota. Tekoshai chuckled; the irony wasn't lost on him. But they had a chance to strike a blow against the wicked elves. And that wasn't to be underestimated, no matter how uncomfortable that made them. And Idiota found himself agreeing with the orc.

 This was not an expected conversation. Tekoshai had hit a wall with Idiota... and realized that repeatedly bashing Idiota just wasn't working. What I didn't anticipate was how... gently it all went down. This orc. This freaking minotaur. Talking it out. There wasn't any real coercion, no lies, no bullying. Just two folks who were in a situation they didn't like, commiserating over it. There was a genuineness that none of us had really seen between the two characters up till this point. Something changed.

And it just felt so wrong to have them wreck elves after that. And I think Lena and Will felt that, too. 

Everything, at that moment, felt so wrong. Uncomfortably so.

Zaina, currently a general in the elven military, was able to get past the zone security with no issues at all; nobody even checked her ship! She dropped the party off on the edge of the city, just inside the wall. Idiota and Tekoshai were overwhelmed by the constant howling of the wind, the cold. Most of the elves were meditating quietly within their homes. Zaina said to get however many elves hollowed out as they wished and to meet back up with her. Idiota wanted to know what Zaina got out of this. Zaina explained that she wanted to "borrow" whatever forces they assembled long enough to kickstart the civil war on Kotae Mah; fifty hulled elves should do. That was all that Zaina needed. 

Lena and Will asked what type of skill they'd need to sneak around this "quiet elven twilight". I mean, there are still folks out and about. So it was more of an Inconspicuous roll, at least in my eyes. As I type it now I find myself thinking it should have been self, cause how the hell does a minotaur "blend in" with a freaking all elven city?? 

He doesn't.

I mean, to be fair, the players burned the artha necessary for them to pass the Beginner's Luck test; they passed. I made the wrong call, flat. Such is a life. I'll do what I can the next time.

Oh well. Live and learn.

Tekoshai and Idiota managed to hull out ten elves, enduring the screams, the brimstone, and that smile as the thing took over. But the tenth was different. He looked at Idiot and Tekoshai and declared they were familiar. The pair were confused, how could this hulled elf know them? The hulled elf said he was a demon from Herna, taking over an exiled elven body. Herna, and the demons within it, are outside the time of Heranyt. And this demon had seen Tekoshai and Idiota before; in the future, stopping the elf-hulled force. The other hulled elves bristled. So Tekoshai and Idiota held that particular elf down, and Tekoshai beat the elf body into oblivion. The evil gauntlets given them by Krakeru set the body alight. The hulled elves looked on in shock. And they backed up.

So this was a decidedly hilarious scene to set up. I presented this problem to the two of them. Lena immediately brought up Brutal Intimidation. She didn't want to out-argue a demon, she just wanted to make it clear who was still in charge of the situation. Will threw out a helping die with Intimidation.

There was a victory yell as the dice clattered on the table. Brutal Intimidation is amazing; it's freaking open-ended!

As they snuck around Tekoshai and Idiota began to hear voices, whispering soothing words of welcome to them. Nobody else seemed to hear it, but the hulled elves remarked they had to be near The Grotto, a mysterious forest that was inside Kotae Mah. Idiota saw a yellow-skinned figure retreat into an alleyway. So Idiota went after what he saw. And Tekoshai saw, so he followed, especially after the whispers called him a coward.

They were all of a sudden in a beautiful and peaceful forest. The sky was blue; Idiota and Tekoshai hadn't seen a blue sky in weeks and blinked in it. The gith came from behind a tree and told them they had work to do.

Sometimes it just makes sense to just... let things play out. No rolls, just a sort of meditation on the story. The narration. The turn into something that just... sorta came out. Lena and I had developed The Grotto from the Undertow. It was an element that came in at the end and I'd always wanted to explore it more. 

Turns out this seemed to be the moment to do so. We'll see what happens!

A sincere thanks to Will for taking notes during the session.

Suihkulahde: Session Eleven

A sincere thanks to my patrons, who have provided a lot of feedback and encouragement. Y'all mean a lot to me. If you want to join them  and help steer the direction of the blog it would be much appreciated. Thank you so much!

So I assumed this was either the last session of the arc or the second-to-last. I mean, we've got a mysterious army of teal soldiers walking acrost the water coming up to the island, with Anneli and Nomi standing there, all fantasy/superhero-like, waiting in a line on the shore. I mean, how cool is that? How can you top that in an arc?

And then I got a tooth infection.

Which continued.

OUCH.

So coming up to session night I wasn't feeling too on-game. Hard to be thinking straight when you've been wrestling with persistent pain for a few weeks. So, excited as I was, I felt a bit of trepidation. How on earth could I bring my A-Game, feeling as poorly as I have? 

LAST TIME ON....

Nomi and Anneli had to face Fingar, who had become warped by the eldritch Nameless. Fingar hid, fashioning some odd magic. Fingar got the jump on Anneli and stabbed dai in the gut; a strange eldritch poison entered Anneli's veins and dai died on the spot. Nomi knocked Fingar over and stabbed Sydanelma right through Fingar's face.

Anneli found dailself on the banks of the river Styx. Standing next to dai was the Prostitute that had been haunting Anneli for so long. Anneli gave The Prostitute the coin dai had, so the Prostitute was able to move on with Charon. Anneli met Akseli, from The Undertow, who gave dai his white stone, sending Anneli back to the mortal world.

Anneli noticed that Nomi didn't feel grief. There was something... wrong... to Nomi. 

They saw a massive teal glow from the west, in the dark. With their elven eyes they saw it was an army of glowing teal.... things. And somehow Anneli and Nomi knew, they just knew, that Thungal was at their head.

Anneli

B1. Indecision brings disaster; I will never hesitate again.

This is one of my favorite kinds of Beliefs. This Belief was written from the blood, tears, and history of the character.

B2. Akseli Belief: Anneli must learn to trust. 

When Anneli was given Akseli's white stone one Belief and Instinct had be to be "Akseli Beliefs", as Akseli was now a part of Anneli. Lena and I, who had come up with the mechanic, explained how the mechanic worked to Andy, and encouraged him to get creative with it.

B3. I put Thungal on this path; I will put an end to dai.

So as of recently I haven't really had much of an inclination to challenge Belief assumptions, not right out the gate. I usually let them lie. But this one piqued my interest. How did Andy know that it was actually Anneli's fault? I had a thing or two to say about that.

I1. Akseli Instinct: Always rely on others.

Not gonna lie, I wasn't sure what to do with this one, but Andy seemed rather confident it would happen, so I decided to let it be for now.

I2. Always command the hesitant.

Man, this has been a useful Instinct! I've really enjoyed watching Andy use this to get rid of hesitation on Nomi and others. And I'm good for watching it play out another hundred sessions.

I3. Always give Nomi a space to speak.

This is one of those Instincts that just keeps on giving. Over and over, and Lena just keeps paying it out. it's beautiful to watch.

Traits: Call of the Island, Righteous, Mortally Wounded in the Head | Shaky Hands | Slightly Clumsy, Bound to Akseli, Commanding Aura, Driven (Pilot)

Nomi

B1. There will be no more loose ends in the name of misplaced mercy; this ends. 

This was.... there was something about this Belief which took me aback. There was a finality in it, one that complimented Anneli's Goal Belief. Much more than half of being a Burning Wheel GM is listening to the player BITs as if it was music. I was hearing "This is the end of the arc", loud as anything.

B2. I can’t forget what Anneli did for Constantine. 

Oh my gosh, another short one from Lena? Something is changing! The tone on this Belief was purposefully vague, as Lena laughingly told us.

B3. Grieving doesn’t get things done. 

A third short Belief. I'm.... who is this woman??? What did she do with my friend from The Undertow, who wrote actual, literal paragraphs is writing short sentences? Well gee, I guess Burning Wheel is about growth and change.

I1. Always bend the truth for personal advantage

I should have criticized this one a bit, given what we knew was coming, but the other stuff was so good that I just didn't have the heart. It's a very Nomi Instinct, even now.

I2. Never worry about others’ personal feelings

So. Very. Nomi. I'm going to need to make sure that this one gets hit harder in the next arc, but we had other things to take care of this time.

I3. Always act towards my own goals first.

One of the things I really appreciate about Lena's characterization of Nomi is that, while dai can be quite noble, is not necessarily selfless. From heroic to selfish, Nomi has a lot of shades of grey. And this is definitely showing up in this third Instinct.

Traits: Educated, Call of the Sea, Spite, Deceptive, Compulsive Liar, Callous, Charismatic, Memory’s Influence, Bitter, Guarded

And here we go! Strap in for some infodump!  

Anneli, Nomi, Alosio, and Remus saw the eerie teal glow and strange things over the water; the pulse of the Music was low, but it was there. Thungal was coming. Anneli and Nomi didn't know how they knew, but they it; Thungal was at the head of that incoming army. Anneli turned and saw Constantine’s ghostly form next to Nomi, who couldn’t see or hear him. Constantine turned to and told Anneli not to worry: that the cavalry was coming. 

Telos, Marian, and Decima showed up. Telos called  Nomi and Anneli members of the Council, laughing at Anneli’s confusion. "You would have wound up here, one way or another!" assured Telos. He then asked for a summary of the situation. Anneli tried to turn it around on Telos, but he deflected;  there were so many world-defining events going on, he couldn't keep track of everything! That's why there was a Council; no one could do it alone. Anneli shoots it straight: Thungal was at the head of that strange army; dai had somehow changed and needed to be stopped. Nomi made a snarky remark about how Thungal had cracked from being unable to deal with.... everything.

Anneli asked for guidance on how to fight the strange things. What were they? Telos explained that these were the former cultists, changed and warped by a strange confluence of  "Shadow" and Rayona, the Dark Ocean. They all emitted The Music, just by existing. And that meant that what should have been a cut and dry combat was more complicated. Telos and Marian, as powerful as they were, immortal though they were, were still human; humans could not survive against The Music, no matter how long they lived normally. But everyone has gifts; Decima reluctantly revealed her ability to counter the Nameless because she had been given a white stone from a dead star, which let the star counter Nameless through Decima. It hurt and was not natural, but Decima could do it.

Telos offered to show Anneli and Nomi why Thungal was actually here. Anneli and Nomi were a bit confused; why wouldn't Thungal be there for them? Telos led them to the center of the island, where Anneli had been before, where the mysterious voice had welcomed dai, back in session three... but went deeper, farther than Anneli had gone. There they found a fountain, like the one they saw in the monastery. Dal, the elf who had built the cult city, had built this fountain as well. This is why the island needed protecting, and what kept the monks from going insane in isolation. The water in the fountain came from the center of the earth and flowed through the Flame. Drinking it changed a person, somehow. Anneli and Nomi had both drunk before, but hadn't noticed a change. Thungal had also drank from it, but because of her unworthiness, it had turned her into the awful form she was in now. Thungal was coming for more of the water, as it would warp her further.

Telos instructed Nomi and Anneli to drink again to help in the fight to come. Anneli and Nomi needed to take care of Thungal while the three humans were going to deal with the rest of the creatures. The important thing was to prevent any of them from reaching the fountain

So yeah, this was just a bunch of dialogue and exposition. I'd wanted to nuance Thungal's and Fingar's fall, to add a layer that possibly there was something to to them that made them not the heroes. Burning Wheel is about the long-term, it's the long con. You can afford to set up plot threads and let them linger a bit. So obviously this is something I want to follow up on in the oncoming sessions.

The Music got louder and louder as the evil army approached. Nomi hesitated for a split second, remembering the last time dai heard The Music: seeing Constantine dying. Anneli saw Constantine's ghost, standing behind Nomi with his hand on Nomi’s shoulder. Constantine gave Anneli words to sing to Nomi. Anneli sang an epic/lay, weaving in the words from Constantine about renewal and hope. For a second Nomi could feel Constantine's hand and snapped back to the present. They faced the oncoming Thungal with resolve.

Yeah, I had Andy and Lena make Steel tests. And Lena bombed that test. And all of a sudden Andy's Instinct about using Command was super relevant! And Andy just wrecked shop with Command, getting Nomi back on dai feet. So I tried poking at Lena's Belief about Anneli failing/helping(???) Constantine, allowing the two of them to team up. And it was just... it was a beautiful scene. This may have been the actual climax of the arc. I think we were building to reconciling these two sisters: recovering from betrayal, death, and failure, to heal and become more than they were before. It's a quiet moment, but those are frequently the best in a story.

Thungal was unrecognizable. Standing at over seven tall, skeletally thin, with only a skull remaining for her face, teal fire flashing out from where eyes and mouth should  have been. But somehow, someway, Anneli and Nomi recognized her. With a voice like a deep rusty hinge, Thungal begins to monologue: Anneli is the true traitor, preferring dail awful sister to Thungal, who had been with Anneli and hadn't betrayed dai, ever. But now Thungal was going to get hers. Nomi interrupted this monologue, lunging to stab at Thungal, Anneli jumping in to help.

Oh man it felt good to have these two sisters finally, finally, be together. There was a firmness of resolve the both of them felt, a righteous anger that was shared. 

Thungal's already long fingers telescoped out, thin and razor-like, forcing Nomi back. Anneli tried to help flank and distract from Nomi, spear in hand, but Thungal maneuvered herself in the surf to keep herself abreast of the sisters. Nomi and Anneli lunged in, keeping up their guards and blocking the incoming razor fingers. Nomi swung at Thungal's head, but a black viscous fluid reached out and blocked the blow from Sydanelma. Thungal lunged forward, telescopic fingers bouncing off of Nomi's armor again. Anneli and Nomi smacked Thungal with the butts of their weapons, finally getting inside Thungal's guard.

Time stopped for all three in the surf, just a for a moment.

And then they all lunged

Sydanelma found Thungal's throat, cutting her head off in a rainbow flurry of stabs. Thungal fell in the surf.

So did Anneli, a deep wound in dail head.

So this is what we scripted:

So this is what we scripted, my actions first:

V1, A1) Counterstrike vs Counterstrike

V1, A2) Avoid vs Beat

V1, A3) Strike vs -

V2, A1) Strike vs Strike

Heh, Andy argued quite quite passionately that I wouldn't be coming out as offensive as I did, because he thought I wouldn't be so offensive in the face of so many people. He didn't anticipate Thungal having the armor she did, allowing her to shrug off some hits from Sydanelma.

What I didn't anticipate was rolling so many freaking 1's on the armor checks! I gave Thungal 3D armor... .and it was almost entirely blown out within the first strike. So when she got hit again I only had 1D..... and it failed. Freaking armor!

Oh, right, Andy spent a Persona point. Anneli is gonna make it.

Nomi began pulling Anneli to the beach, yelling out for Marian to do something. Marian, Telos, and Decima helped pull Anneli to the shore. Marian assured Nomi they’d take care of Anneli. Nomi watched them working on dail sister with a very strange feeling. Nomi knew dai should be feeling grief, should be overcome with worry. But dai wasn't. All Nomi could think of was what to do next. With Constantine, the hurt and anger and vengeance was too strong and became the focus. 

This was different. 

The tears wouldn’t come and the absence of grief was felt as unexpressed pain. 

Decima approached and gently told Nomi dai may not want to watch. Nomi shrugged that off, but  Decima pointed out that dai wouldn’t be able to feel it properly, to grieve. Nomi shook dail head. 

"What I feel or not doesn’t matter. It’s my sister. And I’m going to be here."

And so Nomi sat beside dail sister. Aloisio and Remus gathered round their fallen captain, and the surf continued to pound, on and on.

You know what one of my favorite seasons of The Walking Dead was? Season Four. That's the one where Rick starts out as a pacifist and ends up ripping out his son's sexual assaulter's throat with his teeth. The arc tracked his swinging from extreme to another, and that's the point of the really good seasons of Walking Dead. And I feel like we did something like that here. I am always happy to have arcs like this, even if I have difficulty tracking the change at first.

This arc is going to take me a while to process. There was a lot that happened here. But so far we seem to have a created a tale of family, heartbreak, time travel, and definitely betrayal. Gosh, so much betrayal. 

Onto the Trait Vote!

The Impact of Lost

A sincere thanks to my patrons, who have provided a lot of feedback and encouragement. Y'all mean a lot to me. If you want to join them  and help steer the direction of the blog it would be much appreciated. Thank you so much!

I've been thinking about Lost a lot lately. Part of it has to do with my neighbor watching it. He's a gregarious fellow and is the type of philosophical/sci-fi dude I would have assumed had watched Lost before. So he's been talking to me about it as he goes through and his mind. Just. Gets. Blown.  Which is so fun and satisfying to watch!!!

But then I began to think about it.

I owe Lost a whole hell of a lot. 

Lost, along with Clannad, cemented my tastes in high-concept and character driven fantasy. It also pushed me fully into mythology, reading classics, and demanding intensive character work in my RPGs. Much to the chagrin of literally everyone who has played with me since.

So I'd actually had a pretty low-magic/tech sensibility before Lost. Firefly is absolutely my preference over Star Trek, for instance: the problems of the human heart don't change, regardless of tech level. I had made the mistake in assuming that high-concept meant bad character development. Lost and Clannad changed that, being very high concept shows that used their concepts to forward character development. And I've not quite recovered from that rush of adrenaline since.

I was always interested in mythology. I read a lot of Greek mythology as a kid, imbibing a lot of those stories. Contrary to what a lot of people may think, I always found them to be very character-driven. And I enjoyed the arcs that mythology had to offer. Heracles and his constant drive to get ahead of Hera's jealousy, leading into his eventual ascent to godhood. The Trojan War is a key part of my consciousness. Lost reinvigorated my childhood love for mythology, and I have been slowly arcing back to a study of the older stories. It's a long work, recovering what we lost. But I have found a depth in the older works that have been preserved that we don't have these days, by and large. Lost seems to have inherited some of the older stories. And it was Lost that reminded me that I still preferred them.

Lost also lit a fire in my heart about reading the classics. Most of the characters in that show are either an overt reference to something classical or an actual author. Some of the references were merely surface level, but a lot of them weren't. And that piqued my interest. I've barely gotten through two in the ten years since: The Brothers Karamazov and The Count of Monte Cristo... although I'd count the Solar Cycle in that reckoning, even if they're not universally recognized. So I guess that's a total of seven. I've also dived a lot into primary sources in the Orthodox faith, in large part because of the uncertainty of knowledge presented in Lost. While I'd been interested in the Fathers and liturgics before then a lot of what I did after that point was because of the skepticism I found in myself to be in consonance with the show.

But the nail in the coffin was the character work. Lost was always about the characters. Always. Bad, good, inbetween, it didn't matter. Watching how the characters evolved from such basic events as needing to get food to the of the world was the point. Anyone wanting answers about the setting missed why the setting elements existed in the first place: to change the characters as they encountered the unexplainable. Wanting answers was against the point of the whole endeavor. We were meant to watch characters change in the face of the numinous. 

I've talked with Peter, my sole Peanut Gallery patron. We both want to see some commentary on this ground-breaking show, which changed so much in our world. So I'm going to start looking at this show, with the ending, the mythological framework, in mind. Hopefully y'all will find it as illuminating as Peter and I. I got a lot from and out of this show. Maybe it's nostalgia. Maybe it's gratitude. Maybe I just want something to chew on for a long time. 

Regardless, we are here.

May the Power Protect You: Carlos Vallerte (In Space Black)

There's something special about Carlos.  There's that rush of adrenaline as you look at your hand. You gotta kick out as much of it as you can, assuming you drew many cards at all. And as you start your play you'll realize that there's a lot of control here: you don't have to get to Hot Blooded right away, but can sit in the back, preparing for your burst of power. Yeah, that means you're not all that good solo, but provided you get the support you need you can come in, wreck the crap out of a few cards in a single blow, and be back in time for dinner.

Hot Blooded isn't something to use all the time. Never was the rule "Draw one card at a time" so relevant; only draw what you need to get through the fight. If you draw Rising Moon draw your max hand size, because you can place the rest of it back if you want to. And that's the key: if you have Rising Moon there is absolutely no reason not to max that hand out. At all.

Meteor Smash is a freebie draw when you're drawing up your hand.. If you get this card immediately draw another two: one to pay for its kicker, and the other one because duh. I know there's an option to gain an energy or add a die. If you're within your reroll trigger go for the extra die. At least, that's what my rule of thumb is. Every shot from Carlos needs to be a kill shot, if not a serious rocker.

Covering Strike is, once again, a freebie. You can draw an additional card if you draw this one, without hurting your chances of getting to Hot Blooded. And let's not be joking around: unless you have a good reason to let someone else put a card atop their deck that ability should be used on you, so that way you can get back to Hot Blooded.

Moon Fang Piercer is where things get a bit tricky. It's a hard hit, but it needs to be the absolute last or second to last card you play to be worth it. And that means that, whenever you draw this card, you should seriously consider not drawing anymore. Like, check and make sure that everyone else thinks they can carry that particular battle beyond the one card you'll be smoking, but unless there's a clear and present need to draw more cards? You probably shouldn't.

If you draw Lunar Lance you'll need a bare minimum of three cards in your hand, possibly more, depending upon how people are feeling with their hands. If you haven't figure it out yet, I check how others are doing before I make decisions about my hand when playing with Carlos. Heck, I wouldn't even draw until I know what everyone else has. And that pays off the best when you get Lunar Lance. Combine this card with his Astro Blaster and Carlos can hit anything he likes, with a reroll to boot.

Mega V2 is good for cycling useless cards out of your hand and getting your deck stacked back up. It's also good for whenever you need to get your deck stacked up against a hit. Not to mention being able to throw out a bunch of cards when you need to, for a clinch hit.

Carlos is my favorite of the In Space Rangers. Properly played he's a bruiser with a Russian Roulette heart. He's challenging to play, sure, but we left simple with the core box. And I can't say I'm terribly disappointed that's the case.

In the interest of clarity, I helped playtest prototypes for this character. A sincerest thanks to Jonathan Ying and Renegade Studios!

Against the Darkmaster: First Impressions

 

A Terrifying Weapon to Behold

Guys, this thing is a freaking tome. I've got a good hunch if I took this monster of a book and hit you at the base of your skull you'd be dead. Or at the very least in a coma. It's not the largest RPG I own by page count - that's either Burning Wheel or Burning Empires - but the paper is this wonderfully thick and heavy stock and it's definitely a thicker (and larger) book. The fact that this book could double as a weapon is part of the point. This game is what would happen if you put the Iliad and put it to a heavy metal soundtrack.

That's explicit.

Parts of the game actually ask you to copy and paste heavy metal lyrics in. We'll get back to that. It's glorious.

Oh Right, You Want a Definition

Against the Darkmaster is a rules-heavy combat game, inspired principally by Tolkien and heavy metal. It's a d100 system: roll d100 (usually 2d10 with one die as the 10s and the other the 1s), add your modifiers, and pray to get 100+, for standard checks. 

You probably won't.

The dice engine is deliberately evil. If you just go by it you're not going to get a straight success, not terribly often. We'll get back to that.

For combat rolls you get all your modifiers, knock off an amount equal to your enemy's defense, and compare to the proper table. Roll as high as you can, cause the higher you roll means you not only do more damage but can also roll on a critical hit table.... and those get mean. Instant death mean. Better wear armor, because if you don't you'll find yourself in a coma for weeks. One strong roll and your character may be so critically injured that there's barely anything anyone can do to save them. And that's the point. 

Drive, Passions, Advancement Lists, and Other Walls of Text

The dice engine in this game can be compared to a box of needles and knives and rusty forks, especially at lower levels. Because there's this awesome thing called Drive. Drive allows you to fudge the numbers, reduce critical hits, get rerolls, and make your stuff much more effective. Spending 10 Drive nets you a Milestone, which means you have the ability to have what's called a Revelation. Most of the time Revelations require time to process the events since the last Revelation, so usually you need some serious time off, but once you do you can increase stats, buff items, get more HP, and other little bumps. Considering that Drive should be flying off your character the issue is not in getting the Milestone, but having the time to get a Revelation (although the game does say that a dramatically appropriate moment can suffice).

How do you get Drive? You act on your Passions. Yes, folks, this game has Burning Wheel in its list of inspired games! You choose three priorities for your character. Like Burning Wheel what these three Passions could be is totally up to you, but the game has three default assumptions: Nature (behavior/demeanor), Allegiance (love/hate of another character), and Motivation (an actual concrete goal). Other classifications can and do exist, but these are the three assumed by the game. Whenever you willingly put yourself into a dangerous situation or challenge, put yourself in a bad light because of your Passions, or put the story in a new or unexpected direction because of your Passions, increase your Drive by one. 

Oh, there's an alternate rule where you can use heavy metal lyric quotes for Passions. I don't know why it's an alternate rule, because that's just too cool for words! At that point Passions become a reference to music...  and the places you could go with that is amazing.

Your Drive caps at five. The game says you can either award Drive on the spot or at the end of the session, whatever you think is more appropriate to your story.

Now, I've read more than a few RPGs that claim to have Burning Wheel as an inspiration. Some of them it's a very surface level inspiration (cough Beyond the Wall cough hack), and others actually seemed to learn something from it (Blades in the Dark is definitely in this category). Against the Darkmaster is the only game I know of that actively apes Burning Wheel's core engine: two advancement engines which are fed by an open-ended "input" system. In Burning Wheel that's your Beliefs, Instincts, and Trait, which feed into the epiphany (grey-shading) and skill advancement systems. 

For this game we've already talked about the Passion/Revelation engine, but there's also the Achievement List/XP engine, which completes the resemblance to Burning Wheel. The Achievement List is decided upon by the GM and the players, who determine which concrete actions in the world warrant XP or not. Against the Darkmaster openly wants your group to customize their own list of at least six options. The game gives two examples of such lists, with solid guidance on how to make your own. And the game expects the group as a whole to draft the list. Now, the game seems to imply that once the list is made that's it; no changing it. But there's nothing explicitly saying that you can't. And I have every intention of encouraging the list to change to reflect new situations.

Oh, and if you die a heroic death you just pass on your entire experience track to the next character. Kill your darlings, because more are coming. That might be an important rule, no?

An Open Tome of Deadliness

Now, here's where my predilections as a reviewer come the most into play. I am of the opinion that folks should not modify a game to suit their tastes when they're just starting. They need to adapt to the game and see if they can work with it, as written. The designer spent some time crafting a piece that works (in theory), and it's not up to somebody who's never even touched the darn thing to determine on a surface-level read whether or not they should change it. That doesn't mean you shouldn't eventually house-rule the game to your preferences: just take some time learning the game as it is. I currently have one house rule for Burning Wheel, with another in consideration, with seven years of gameplay under my belt. When I was playing 4e DnD I played a full three years before I started hacking it. Learn the game. Then figure out what you wanna do with it.

Against the Darkmaster takes a bit of a softer approach than I'm used to: it provides several alternate rules, with active advice on what that does to the system. Most of those alternate rules are the way the designers prefer to play the game. That leads to a more collaborative experience, with players using heavy metal lyrics as inspiration for Passions, deliberately softening the blows for deaths that are not heroic, and a couple of other rules that make your games about badassess dying deaths of badassery. 

Most of the time alternate rules seem to dilute the experience for me, but here the designers seem to legitimately think the "other" way is just as much a legit way to play their game. The rules have a polish to them that suggest play-testing, as opposed to "Hey, this might work", without much of a thought as to whether they'd actually work. That suggests to me that there's more than one way to play this game in the very heart of the design team. And that I don't mind, as it seems genuine enough.

The Bonk on the Back of the Neck

I called my brother John, who is not an RPGer, not by any stretch, but used to be in a heavy metal band, and threw the pitch for this game as I understood it his way: in order to destroy the Darkmaster you have to exist in an world of pain, suffering and death. Your characters live short, but incredibly intense, lives dying in blazes of glory that will be forever remembered. You pass on your experience track, creating stronger and stronger characters, until you're waist deep in the blood your characters have spilled, all to get to the Darkmaster. And when you win and end the series of campaigns you've been playing it's drenched in blood, with all the weight of the dead behind you.

John told me there was no more metal pitch.

When I told him Italians had made the game he laughed and said he expected nothing less from them.

I'll becoming back around when I have more play experience. We'll see how these impressions line up then!