You Have the Time

"I want to live"

In the anime Castlevania the summoner Isaac tells Hector, one of his friends, that he had finally realized something : he had a future. And because he had a future, because he had time, he was going to make use of it. And that the powers that be, the people who control culture and everything else in our system, specifically did not want people to know it. If all you have is the present, with no future, there is no hope. And therefore you are easy to control. But Isaac had a future. And therefore he hoped. And therefore he could no longer be controlled. It's one of the most valuable lessons I've ever learned.

You have the time.

Yeah yeah yeah, live every day. Don't sink into a malaise or be paralyzed with fear and all that, but you, the person reading this, have time. No, I don't know how much, but probably enough to finish this blog post.

Hopefully.

The only thing that matters is what you do with the time you have, with what's in front of you, right now. Answers to your questions are nice, but they do not change the fact that all you have is what's in front of you, right now. It is perfectly reasonable to have hope for a future.

Yes, you have concerns. Problems. Issues with the world that feel very pressing. I'm not trying to downplay the importance of those questions, because they have a funny way of defining your life. But you have time for those. 

The blessing of youth is the feeling that you only have so much time, along with the feeling of boundless energy. The curse of youth is thinking that if today doesn't resolve everything then all is lost, and that your energy is useless. That's not true. Full stop.

Your questions will not be resolved today, probably. That's okay. We have such an emphasis on being rational beings that we think it means we know everything. Well here's a rational thought then: The rational thing to do when you don't have enough information is to investigate and be willing to put in the time.

Yes, I'm telling you to be patient, if there's no reason to have the information now then don't break yourself to go get it. Because you have the time.

Because outside that Hell of "I don't know the answer fuck my life I don't know" there's a whole world. It's right next to you. And you can do something about that. I know that doesn't solve the Big Problems. I didn't say it did. But you're not a Big Person. If you were they wouldn't be Big Problems, would they?

There are small problems. Just the right size. And if you conquer those small problems, you will be larger. It's a promise. Each time you focus on one of those smaller problems the next problem will be smaller. And smaller. And smaller.

And one day you will be what you once thought of as a Big Person, and thus able to deal with what you used to think of as The Big Problem. It won't be a Big Problem anymore. Because you'll be bigger than it.

But that's not today. And it doesn't need to be today, not by and large.

You have a future. 

And it's worth living. No matter how much pain and anguish await you, no matter how big and large and freaking scary the whole enterprise looks, it will be worth doing. Because someday it'll be in your rear view mirror, and you'll chuckle a little bit, as you realized that used to really get you tripped up. The journey will be worth it. 

I promise.

Blessed are the patient. They will inherit the land.

-Matthew 5:4

Castlevania Season Three and Anti-Christianity

That God may forgive us, let us forgive men,

We are all on this earth as temporary guests.

Prolonged fasting and prayer is in vain

Without forgiveness and true mercy.

-The Prologue of Ohrid, February 27th, Hymn of Praise (emphasis mine)

If you think that the show Castlevania is anti-Christian, I ask you to consider the above lines. Do any of the Christians in the show do anything like that? Or is the author of the show commenting upon the supposed Christians he sees in the real world? And if he's commenting upon Christians in the real world, is he commenting on you? And, in case you are still telling me you're not like the Christians in the show, I must ask:

Are you forgiving those that offend you, no matter how much they don't deserve it?

Are you feeding the hungry? Clothing the naked? Visiting those in prison? Helping heal the sick, even if it's just sitting there and being with them as they suffer? Are you caring for those less fortunate than you, especially if you don't think they deserve it?

If you're not then please, shut up. Cause Mr. Ellis is talking to you. And you'd do best to listen.

Oh wait, that means me too.

CRAP

The problem is that, without the divine mission of forgiveness (which is at the heart of all real Christians, I wish I was one of them!) the world (interior and exterior) starts to look a lot like the world that's portrayed in Castlevania. The strong prey upon the weak, the broken-hearted cannot heal and grow, and the only comfort you can gain is in tribal ties that only mean as much as they can help you ignore the breaks in your own heart on behalf of THE CAUSE.  Yes, that means your own little personal crusades against evil are useless, because saving the world only means that you are keeping it from burning it down while the actual predators in human hearts continue, unabated. And that means they'll come back, usually right under your nose. No, you will not create conditions where that stops as long as you see the world in terms of who is hurting who. That's what the characters in this show are doing, and it is utterly futile. Mr. Ellis knows it. Forgive or abandon all hope. And no, there is no other way. There are no righteous causes to go for, no action that can be done to redeem your soul.

Because, at the end of the day, if the only thing that matters is who is hurting who, you wind up with a bunch of stakes in your front yard, with all the failed projects of your broken heart serving as reminders that this way just doesn't work. Because it doesn't. THE CAUSE, be it stopping Trump, or stopping Hillary, or stopping abortion, or ending world poverty, or ending globalism or nationalism or any of the other isms that are almost entirely deadly sins to our souls ends with the below picture every time, all the time, without exception, although it's usually your own interior front lawn.

I pray I learn in time.

And, in case it wasn't clear, I highly enjoyed this season. This show just keeps getting better and better, with good and honest character work and some genuinely thought-provoking and soul-tearing stuff. It's not everyone's cup of tea, but man, as it goes on, it continues to be mine. It is dark, without being hopeless, cynical, without losing heart, and the characters are uncompromisingly portrayed in a way I wish more people would start doing. It's a tour de force. I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but I'm certainly going to keep watching.