Avengers: Endgame

I remember going to see Iron Man in theatres. I liked it, but it sure wasn't Shakespeare. Robert Downey Jr was Iron Man, that I could tell, but beyond that? It was fun. But that really was it. Fun. There's a lot of technical craft and whatnot, but the movie lived and died by its lead, period. Sure as hell wasn't because of the script, that's for sure.

"I am Iron Man." What a fantastic way to end that movie!

And y'know what? Over the years I've warmed to the movie as a singular work. Still not my favorite thing, but there's a lot of heart in the film and I appreciate that. 

But I don't know of a soul who wasn't sent into a geekout by that post-credits scene! It was bold. Brave. And I wanted to know what would come next.

I make the distinction here between Iron Man the movie and Iron Man the promise. One of them is okay, the other pure gold. No one had ever tried this! The Avengers! Wow! 

Folks, The Incredible Hulk still has a much softer space in my heart.  I know that's heresy. But my goodness I love that movie. But Captain America is not a movie I love. Nor is Thor. But each one ended with a promise: this is going somewhere.

Y'know what I call that in the gaming industry? The Treadmill. Get something good (but not too good) along with a promise that it'll all add up in the end. That's one of the reasons I got out of Marvel Champions; I realized I was playing for what the game could become, with just a bit more time and money.

The Avengers is an amazing movie, on its own merits. Whedon took something that hadn't a snowball chance in hell of working and not only did it but did it with style. I was fine with it ending there. Marvel had managed the impossible. Whedon will never not have that to his credit.

But then they showed Thanos. And we got another dopamine hit. The Treadmill continued. 

Let's cut to the chase. Some of these 26 movies are excellent. Winter Soldier, Civil War, Ragnarok, the Guardians Movies, Iron Man 3... and the rest are merely okay. At best. But The Treadmill had been activated and we wanted to see where it was going. Infinity War was actually pretty dang good.

But what would happen with Endgame? Y'know, the end?

There was a moment in the final fight where I yawned. Yup. Everything up until that fight had been done... alright. But something was wrong and I couldn't quite put my finger on it. And I can tell you what exactly is wrong with this movie, but it may actually work to show you what this movie could have looked like, without the stupid checklist that restrained the Russo Brothers.

Most of the film I would have kept similar, up until that final fight. Hulk does The Snap, everyone asks if it worked and- 

BAM!

THANOS!

Thanos comes in for the kill. Immediate bombardment. Devastation so horrible it would have one upped Avengers. Iron Man, Thor, and Captain America crawl out of the wreckage to find Thanos with the gauntlet almost on. Steve just grabs Mjolnir ("I KNEW IT!") and thrashes Thanos. 

Oh, Chris Evans keeps the freaking beard. Not. A. Question.

Cap's not holding back, calling down a lightning storm that almost fries the atmosphere. "AVENGERS ASSEMBLE!!!!!" Steve roars it at the top of his lungs, rattling the fillings of everyone in the audience. Thor and Iron Man jump in. This a brutal, ugly, awful fight. Cap, Thor, and Tony are fighting like animals. They've no idea if a cavalry is coming, they don't know where Hulk is. It's life and death. And it looks like it's going well, too! Until Tony makes a mistake, gets too close. Thanos uses him as a meatshield for one of Cap's super bolts. The suit lights up like a Christmas tree, and then goes dark. Friday's gone. Tony looks dead.

Steve almost stops at that point. He killed Tony! But Thor pushes on. They have to win. They must. They're all that's left. He finally has his moment of leadership. And Steve gets up. He's a mess, but he gets up. But without Tony it's just no use; Thanos cleans their clocks. "I am inevitable."

Steve gets up, one last time."No, you're afraid. And fear, it makes you less. Makes you hunker down, refuse to be vulnerable, not enjoy the time you do have. Fear gives you tunnel vision." Thor gets his ax into Thanos, "The Inevitable does not need fear. And I am just that." Thor is punched off planet. Cap's arm's broken a moment later; he drops Mjolnir. 

"Hi Inevitable. I'm Iron Man." Tony's been getting the damn glove on the whole time. We switch to his POV. We watch the fingers snap. And then the camera falls to the side, with the sound cutting out. It's getting dark.

There's a flash of light. And Stephen Strange walks into the POV frame, one finger held up. And then there's Peter, sobbing, pulling Tony into his arms.

And then there's Pepper. We rest on her face a second. She's luminous.

Darkness.

And then we cut to all the restored heroes standing around Iron Man.

If you cannot tell what I think is wrong with Endgame from that, I don't know what else to tell you. My version would certainly need revisions and probably a bit of pacing work, but y'know what it isn't doing? Checking boxes with a pen. There's no artificial inflation of a fight scene that had very little emotional weight. There was definitely no stupid stupid stupid dear God stupid "We've got her back" pandering nonsense. Just our three heroes, the three that we'd been following in one form or another this whole time, finally reaching their full potential, together.

That's all I needed 

Instead I got The Treadmill. Again. 

No, not this time folks. If something is being reported as truly excellent I'll give it a look. But I'm done with "Just wait for the next! It'll all add up!"

It didn't. And I'm disappointed.