The Undertow: Session Thirty-Three

 

Lore Note: Andy, Lena, and I have developed a set of pronouns for elves that are going to start showing up here. I've a real love for the obscure terms of Wolfe and in a wish to imitate his ability to alienate and fascinate, which I think intrinsic to fantasy, I put forward the idea to them that the vaeltaja would not see themselves in terms of male and female, given how little reproduction happens in a vaeltajan lifespan. We decided that elves would instead classify themselves in terms of how much Grief a vaeltaja carried on their soul. To them the differences between even a Grief of B1 and B2 would be noticeable, although for simplicity's sake they'd stick to what we think would make four categories:

Grief B0-B3: mu (singular and multiple)/mul (possesive)

Grief B4-B7 dai/dail

Grief B8-9 ta/tal

B10, but not yet sailed into the Void tor/torl

The Argentum Empire has been saved; Golau, the Demon Queen of Light, is no more, in no small part because of Mikansia. Immediatedly afterwards Nomi accidentally ran into an old mark of hers, the Crown Prince of the Argentum Empire, Prince Constantine, who Nomi had married as part of a scheme for the Lone Keep. Constantine had returned with Mikansia and Nomi to Vigilance, much to Mikansia's amusement.

It was the first time Mikansia had slept in for months and ta was determined to enjoy it. Ta snuggled into the blankets provided by Decima. It was wonderful, taking a break.

Mikansia's door snuck open; Nomi was now against it, bare legs shaking like burnt leaves escaping a bonfire. Nomi slid down the door, hands in tal face. "So, good morning," said Mikansia. Nomi froze. Ta hadn't meant to hide in Mikansia's room. "Everything okay?" asked Mikansia, getting up and out of tal bed.

Nomi wouldn't look at Mikansia, not at first. "I didn't just fuck Constantine's brains out this morning. I've... I've not slept." Looking up at Mikansia after a moment Nomi found herself whispering "I thought of myself as a "she", by my sex, not as 'ta', when I was with him. I felt human."

Mikansia's jaw needed to be screwed back in. "You really care for him," Mikansia finally said.

"I. DO. NOT. WANT. TO. It's not like this is my first time fucking some random lyhyt's brains out all night long. This shouldn't mean anything!" Nomi realized ta was shouting. One ragged breath later and ta was back to a whisper. "This is infuriating. This makes no sense!"

"What doesn't? Because he's human?" asked Mikansia.

"Well, that's a part of it," Nomi replied.

"If we're going to go by those standards then you're just a dark elf and I'm just a dark elf's bastard, who had the potential to be some dark messiah. But that's not what how this works." Mikansia took a moment and smiled. Ta didn't see taself as just a dark elf's bastard anymore. Ta looked back up at Nomi, a new sense of... something. Something good. "When you love someone it frequently doesn’t...”

Ta paused.  Mikansia, no, Jabez was standing in front of that pirate, way back at the beginning, figuring out what mu was going to do about helping Mikansia.

“You find yourself doing all sorts of strange things... like.. like giving up your sword so that way the one you love can go pursue their dream," stammered Mikansia, trying to compensate for the sudden memory flash.

So you were in love with Jabez?" asked Nomi, getting a bit of tal composure back.

"I..." Mikansia shook tal head, coming out of the reverie of Jabez's memories. "That's not really the point right now. You've got someone in there that's definitely your family." 

"Family??" Nomi's quick moment of triumph had vanished back into consternation. "I... family."

"Isn't that what he is? Family?"

"... yes." Nomi sighed.

"So what are you going to do?" Mikansia asked.

"I.. have to tell him. I don't think it will... well..." Nom took a deep breath. Ta walked out.

Mikansia went downstairs to a picture of peace. Yvette, bags under her eyes, was nursing the elven baby Alexis. Mikansia smiled at Alexis, Jabez's son, who was still getting used to the idea of other ebony-skinned beings existing.  Simone ran up to Mikansia "I knew you'd come back," the three year old told Mikansia with a warm smile. A familiar one.

Mikansia's smile was just as familiar and warm. "And here I am. I've missed you."

"Who wants breakfast?" Decima called from the kitchen. Even Yvette got up, stumbling into the kitchen as everyone made their way to get food.

Constantine came down the stairs and walked out the door into Vigilance without a word, face impassive. Nomi didn't come down after him. Mikansia found Nomi sitting on tal and Constantine's bed. "That didn't go well, I take it." Nomi shook tal head. "I'm sorry," Mikansia said, in all sincerity and gentleness.

"Can you.. can you come with me?" asked Nomi through tal tears.

"You don't have to ask," assured Miksansia. "Get dressed." Nomi nodded.

Constantine was sitting in the piazza just down the street. "Hello, Mikansia." Mikansia grimaced. Ta had mockingly told Constantine tal name was Nomi when they had met, as Nomi was known to Constantine as Mikansia. Apparently Constantine was a bit sore about it.

"What did ta tell you?" Constantine and Nomi looked at Mikansia with surprise. Mikansia was supposed to just come along. "Knowing Nomi ta probably didn't tell you about all the good she's done since, as ta tried to become better. Nomi has been nothing but a help and support to me and I doubt ta has the ability to even mention those things."

"That's wonderful, but Nom didn't just hurt me," said Constantine, standing up from the fountain. "I'm the Crown Prince of the Argentum Empire! I am not just me, Mikansia. I am the Argentum Empire, personified. The people are mine. Mine. I protect them. I keep them safe. They are mine to hold in protection against the nations. And Nomi hurt them. She tricked me and used that information to hurt my people. I should resign as prince and leave the kingdom, but I can't! I'm the last of the line! All my brothers died when the dragon destroyed Argentum Prime." Mikansia and Nomi shifted, looking uncomfortable. That had been Fish when he had first become a dragon. He had recently been relieved of his curse and was still recovering from it. "If I step down, which I really should, since Nomi proved I was so untrustworthy, that would lead to a bloody civil war. My people don't deserve that." Nomi's eyes began to flood. Constantine tried not to look at ta as he turned to Mikansia. "Your sword can return me to Argentum Reskartum. Please.. please take me back there." Nomi sobbed and sobbed in the very public piazza, falling at Constantine's feet. He tried as hard as he could not to look at ta, but his eyes teared up from the effort. Other humans began to gather at the very public display of heartbreak.

Mikansia picked up Nomi. "I'm going to take him back through Dream. Wait for me back at the house."

"Mikansia, how could-"

"I. Said. Wait." The look on Mikansia's face shut Nomi up. Mikansia cut open a portal through Dream with Sydanelma, just as Constantine had asked. But Mikansia made Constantine walk through every single memory of Nomi that Mikansia had to do it: swirling memories of Nomi trusting Mikansia with secrets, helping Mikansia through places in tal life that ta could never have made it through alone, Mikansai telling Nomi over and over again "I only trust you to do this. Please help me!" At first Constantine protested, but became quieter and quieter as they walked through the memories, as he saw Nomi evolve into what he had always thought her to be. 

At the end of the walk Mikansia cut open another hole, showing the ruins of Argentum Reskartum. But Constantine didn't go through. "Alright. Bring me back." Mikansia cut to Nomi's room with a rainbow slash of Sydanelma. Nomi jumped. "I.. .I was wrong. I didn't... I'm sorry," Constantine said, looking right into Nomi's tearful eyes. "Come with me. We'll figure it out. Somehow."

"No."

Everyone's jaw dropped but Nomi's. 

"I'm... I'm still damaged. I need to.. I need to return to grief. And I love you so much and I want to go, but you can't help me return."

Constantine barely let Nomi finish. "But I-"

"-need someone to be there for the people," interrupted Nomi with a gentle smile. "I'm not that. Not yet. But I won't rest until I am, if you'll wait for me. I've no right to ask for that. But I don't deserve any of this to begin with and I want to do it right. And when I can I want to be your wife. Or your concubine. Whatever you can do whenever I figure this out."

"Well after this morning and what you-"

"ErHEM" coughed Mikansia. Nomi and Constantine started. They weren't alone. They had forgotten.

"I'll always wait. Always," swore Constantine.

"I hope not. The people need an heir, after all," chuckled Nomi. "I won't keep you long. I promise." Cosntantine nodded. They parted as Mikansia turned to cut another portal.

As Constantine stood in the portal that would take him b ack to Argentum Reskartum he turned and smiled at Mikansia. "Well played, Mikansia. Well played." Mikansia smiled by way of reply. "You've sacrificed yourself before. I can tell. You know the burden of being everyone's source of strength."

Mikansia felt a bit sheepish."I don't know if I'd go that far. But I do have some appreciation for what you told Nomi. And clearly ta did too."

Constantine laughed. "Indeed! Well, until next time, Mikansia Lux Armiger, Bearer of Light!" he said, pointing at the multifaceted glow of Sydanelma. Ta nodded

The portal closed between them. Constatine immediately turned his mind to his people. Nomi would return to him. But, for now, there was work to be done.

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